


Losing What We Never Had

by LMjuniper



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Lesbian Character, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Not Ashamed, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Love Triangles, Mass Effect 2, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, follows the game until omg it doesn't at all, i'm so trash for this ship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:52:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11680590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMjuniper/pseuds/LMjuniper
Summary: After 2,5 years while recovering from her death and racing against time to gather a group of deadly companions Rue finds herself torn between the two women she loves.A choice has to be made, but who will it be?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Old new one. From Fanfiction, but I'm trash so I figured I should share it here. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Mass effect and everything you recognize from it belongs to BioWare, I'm just a total sucker for the game and its lovely ladies.
> 
> This is the beginning of an epic story where we get to follow Shepard as she makes one of the most important choices in her personal life along the events in Mass Effect 2. I'm not generally known to stick to the games and the dialogues in them, I prefer making up my own.

_I knew she was never really mine, that one day she would slip away from me. I always knew I would lose her. If not to the Reapers, then to the Normandy, maybe even to her duty as a spectre, the whole of the galaxy depending on her. But most of all I feared losing her to someone else. Not to just someone. To her._

* * *

SHE THOUGHT HER VOICE MIGHT crack, or get stuck in her throat. Fail her. That her shaking knees would not carry her weight any more. Fold beneath her.

"I'm sorry..."

Forcing herself to speak she spoke with as much calmness she could muster. "Don't worry Shepard, I... understand." She looked across the commander's shoulder and took a deep breath. "You should go, she's waiting..."

Her voice broke then and she covered her mouth with her soft, small hand to muffle an involuntary sob. Rue moved towards her, but she withdrew quickly waving her hands dismissively at the commander, clearing her throat. "No, don't... mind me. I'm fine, I just... I'm tired that's all."

Rue frowned, her blood-red hair falling stubbornly in her face. "Are you sure?"

She nodded numbly. "I'll see you around commander. I... hope the two of you find happiness." Sitting back into her chair behind her large desk she stared indifferently at the commander who nodded before retreating from her spacious office. The metal doors slid and closed with a faint hiss behind the commander as she left.

She wanted to call after the commander, beg her to stay, plead for Rue to return the heart she had given so solely to her. But she didn't. She was far too proud for that. Instead she picked up the electronic dossier that lay on the desk before her. She had turned it off when Rue had come to speak to her, but now she switched it on again. The blue screen flickered at her and her vision blurred with hot tears falling from her eyes landing with graceful splashes on the small screen in her hand.

_Patient status: Pregnant._

 

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Changes

_I am no one special, not once did I believe I would have a hand in saving the galaxy. I was told I was great, yes. But I never believed it, not really, and I never liked trying to live up to the expectations of others. Perhaps they were all right when they said that I rebelled when I left. In a way I did, at the same time as I didn't. Still here I am. I thought I would stand by her side when the moment comes, now I'm not so sure any more, but I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't how it started. No, it started a long time ago._

* * *

RUE SHEPARD EYED HER NEW crew sighing inwardly. There was the Cerberus operative and director of the Lazarus project, Miranda. The loyal femme fatale who put all her faith in the organisation she was working for. Although for some strange reason Miranda seemed to disliked Rue very strongly despite the fact that the director had dedicated the last two years of her life to make sure Rue was put back together the same way she was. The same way she had been before she managed to get herself blown up and tossed into space as the rip in her air tank exposé her to extreme vacuum, and sub-zero degrees, turning her lunges into ice. So besides taking up most of the director's time, what was it that made Miranda dislike her so?

The commander's eyes trailed the grey lining of the large table until they rested on Jacob. He was leaning into his chair, flicking a pen between his fingers looking as relaxed as ever. He seemed to be Miranda's opposite. Miranda showed no emotion, and wore a cold mask most of the time, her whole appearance screaming for everyone to 'Stay. Away'. Jacob on the other hand was the idealist, who seemed to –much like Shepard herself– be able to advice both his feelings and logic in whatever situation arose and from what little she knew about this former alliance soldier, she liked.

Both Miranda and Jacob were more than adequate to be out on the field. In fact they were both strong soldiers with great battle skills and Rue had no doubt they could handle themselves, but they weren't... the same as the others. It had been different on the Normandy, the old, original Normandy. At first the tension between the humans and aliens had been somewhat delicate, but they lived through so much, too much, seen things others didn't even see in their worst nightmares, and it brought them together, increased crew morale.

Even gunnery chief Williams had put aside her blatant dislike of the aliens and when they faced the final battle against Saren and the Sovereign they stood united as one, strong crew. But those days were gone, and Shepard was far too experienced to be feeling like this. She had changed units several times, why was this any different? It shouldn't be, besides Joker had joined Cerberus and was still her pilot and this –Miranda and Jacob– was the only team she had until...her gaze fell on the dossiers before her –the Illusive Man's suggestions for companions. She didn't like the feeling of being manipulated by this Cerberus group, although she knew she didn't have much of a choice. Of course, the Illusive Man had said it was up to her to decide whether she wanted to work for Cerberus or not. She snorted. No matter what the Illusive Man said, she knew that with the fortune he had spent on her, he was unlikely to just let her go. Then again, he could try to kill her, though she doubted he would. Four billion credits wasn't something you just killed off for not co-operating with you. Besides, she didn't work for them, she _used_ them to achieve what she wanted, and what she wanted was the threat of the Reapers eliminated and Cerberus had the resources to do so.

She looked up again, locking eyes with Miranda's defiant gaze.  _She doesn't like me being in charge_.

"Fine. Suit up. We're going to find this Archangel."

"I'm glad you chose to take the Illusive Man's advice." Miranda said with her heavy accent. Rue merely nodded before returning to the captain's quarters.

 

* * *

 

"That's it?" Rue asked, trying to mask her surprise where she stood suited up in her heavy armour, staring at Miranda, who, hadn't changed into anything else, but wore the same cat suit as before with the black high heeled boots that reached to her knees. The suit wrapped itself rather nicely around the director's sensual body, and revealed a fair amount of cleavage.

"Is there a problem commander?" Miranda gave her a flat stare.

"Miranda. We're heading into Omega, 'haven for all criminals', safe guard to murderers, petty duct rats, and god knows what. To say we'll bump into quite some resistance along the way is probably an understatement. We could be going into heavy fire and you're wearing  _that_."

Miranda looked a little confused as she glanced down at herself. "What's wrong with this?"

"What's it made of?" Rue asked pinching the sleeve drawing an irritable groan from the informant. "My pinch hurt? Well, imagine being shoot at in that then." Rue reprimanded her.

"I assure you commander I can handle myself. Bullets are the least of my problems." She said raising her eyebrow. "Just focus on your task and I'll worry about keeping the subject alive." She pause shortly before continuing, "that would be you."

"Charming." Rue answered sourly.

"I'm here to make sure you succeed with the mission. I'm not here to be charming." Miranda retorted coldly.

Rue snorted as she watched the cold beauty fall behind her as they moved to leave the Normandy replica.

 

* * *

 

Omega was anything but grand. It was dark and murky, a prefect planet for outlaws, and perhaps that was why it had become the harbour for everyone who lived outside the law. Rue recalled having heard tales of its spectacular design before the elegant planet had turned into the miserable place it now was. Shabby new buildings had been built haphazardly all across the Omega, and the stench in the poorer districts was foul.

Beggars and duct rats scurried out of their way as they navigated through the thin, twisting streets towards Archangel's hide out. The professor had been recruited and secured, now all that was left to do before they could back to the Normandy was to find this Archangel. Rue wasn't sure why, but something about the Archangel felt familiar. Reading his dossier she thought he reminded her of someone, but she couldn't really remember who.

Something at the far end caught her attention and she stopped dead in her tracks. Motioning for the others to take cover she pulled her shotgun from her belt raising it in front of her eyes as she slipped into the shadows, using them as a cover as she eased down the street.

She spotted the first freelancer without much problem. He was pacing back and forth, his back turned towards them.  _Too easy_! She could finish him off easily with her shotgun, but it would make a mess and draw the attention of nearby enemies. Unhooking her sniper rifle from her back she aimed it at the unknowing freelancer. One shot and the freelancer fell lifeless to floor.

"Nice." She heard Jacob whisper in her ear piece.

"Let's move on. Stay behind me and stick to the shadows." She ordered as she slipped passed the dead freelancer, still hidden by the dark shadows.

_We're losing time_. She thought where they crept along. They better pace it up if they were going to get back to the Normandy before nightfall. She was rounding the corner when Miranda's voice rang out sharply in her ear.

"Careful Shepard, enemies ahead!"

The mercenaries were coming at them from all angles firing off their weapons. Containers flew into the air, mechs were pulled up and thrust backwards by Miranda's biotic power. Jacob was right beside her firing his pistols, attacking them with his own biotics while Rue was taking out the freelancers that hid behind the well stacked shelves in the large storage room. They were moving forward, if slowly, when group of mechs appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at the two companions' left flank.

"On your left!" Rue warned before diving in behind the two biotics, shielding their backs, her M-5's bullets crushing the new group of enemies. She felt something slam against her shoulder, and an intense burning sensation spread through the whole of her side and she staggered backwards before the last mech fell lifeless to the ground.

 

* * *

 

Rue Shepard grimaced as Miranda propped her up against one of the metal containers. One of the mech's bullets had managed to wedge itself into her shoulder.

"That was reckless." Miranda said softly. Her blue eyes studied Rue's face as she placed her omni-tool above Rue's wounded shoulder. There was a clicking noise and the bullet was pulled out from the wound, dropping to the floor.

"God. Damn it!" Rue hissed through clenched teeth before the stabbing pain was numbed, replaced by a dull throbbing.

"I'm sorry, but this tissue costs a fortune, I can't really let you ruin it with bullets."

"I swear to God you'd leave me here to die if I wasn't your project." Rue muttered.

"Considering your previous achievements I doubt it would take one simple bullet to kill you, but yes, probably. Though as it is, you're worth a fortune." The informant said flatly, but Rue caught the hint of a smile glint in Miranda's eyes.

"Lucky me. Now let's finish this off."

 

* * *

 

Garrus. All the time Archangel had been Garrus. Rue snorted where she walked on the thin bridge towards Joker.

"I see you found the place of sin." She heard Joker call out from the pilot's seat he was sitting in.

She chuckled slightly. Whatever Joker meant with that she was certain she didn't even want to know. "So what is she like?" She asked leaning against the back of Joker's seat, peering across his shoulder at the multiple screens.

"This baby is not really the Normandy, but she has some really cool features. If you're asking me if I can fly her... well, you should already know the answer to that." 

"Relax, Joker,  I'm just trying to make conversation. Why you so edgy anyway?"

Joker scowled. "It's that AI. I don't like it. It's like she's watching everything I do, my every move."

"I'm the Normandy's enhanced defense intelligence, it's my job to monitor everything that happens on the ship."

"See!" Joker hissed through the corner of his mouth.

"EDI's kept us out of a lot of trouble, let her be." Rue said watching the blue orb next to them before adding, "For now."

"So...Cerberus Joker, why?"

"Besides the fact that you're the obnoxious big sibling I never had?" Joker fired off a grin in Rue’s direction. "I guess because... you were our commander, our leader, the one who united us. When you died..." Looking away from her he fell quiet until she gave his shoulder aight squeeze. "Shit, Shepard, it all just sort of fell apart without you...and I was grounded. With Cerberus at least I get to fly, and hey! My favourite commander is on board as well." Joker grinned from his seat as his hands moved this way and that across the screens.

"We were good, weren't we?"

"The best commander."

"Well, for what it's worth...I'm glad to have you on my team again, Joker." Rue said before sighing. "Well.. I really should go."

"Yeah, you should, you're getting soppy on me."

Whacking the back of his head she turned and walked back towards the elevator, observing the new ship crew with curiosity as she passed them. The new Normandy was impressive. Though Rue still hadn't gotten used to not have Navigator Pressly standing next to her, helping her to navigate the Galaxy Map and that Kelly...the girl was sweet enough to pay some attention to, Rue thought to herself as she rounded the command deck. Yeoman Chambers looked up just in time to see Rue pass. The yeoman smiled endearingly as Rue winked and nodded before entering the elevator. Turning around she saw Kelly wink and smile back before the doors shut.

Rue chuckled and shook her head. Kelly Chambers was more than tempting, besides, her captain's quarter was far too empty. Although truth be told, empty might be too generous a word. It was sterile and quiet, the only reminder of her previous life a framed photo of Liara on her desk. Entering her quarters she frowned. How  _did_ they know about that?  _Easy._ Joker's voice rang in her head.  _Everything from the original Normandy was recorded and kept in the black box_.

"Of course." She muttered.

Liara. She threw herself on to the bed. The last time she saw the Asari had been only moments before the explosion.  _Go. Liara. Now!_

"You should have said 'I love you', you moron." She chided herself.

The Illusive Man had told her Liara could be found on Illium, but there was something else in Liara's dossier the Illusive Man had given her. Liara had moved on with her life. The dossier stated vaguely that Liara worked within information, and that she was very successful at whatever it was she was doing. She had been courted by many influential, and rich persons before she announced she was already spoken for.  _Two years, Shepard. Can you really blame her_?

"Well, actually yes. Whatever happened to the joined for a lifetime part?"

_You died._

"Fuck..." She had nearly died when parts of Sovereign's hull had ripped through the tower at Citadel. Afterwards Liara had made her promise to never do that again. Rue vowed she wouldn't die, that she would always return.  _So much for always keeping your promises._

"Shut up."

It had only been a week since she woke up and she was still tired. Dreadfully so. And at times her body still ached. Dr Chakwas had said it was to be expected, she had been dead after all. Feeling her vision blur as sleep started to settle, she remembered that despite her death, most of her last crew had survived and everyone in her squad had escaped unscratched. It was a feat. A small one, but at least she hadn't failed at her job as a commander. Only as a lover.

"Liara moved on. So should you." She muttered before sleep bathed her once more.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. The Noble Savage

_Rue was in many ways my saviour. She helped me see things I've never seen before, made me feel things I never felt before. She saved me that day when we met. From harm, but most importantly, from myself._

*** * ***

THE HEADACHES CAME MORE FREQUENTLY and lasted longer making her head feel like it had just been hit by a huge sledge hammer. Rue swore under her breath as she leaned against the wall in the shower, letting the hot water wash over her. The sound of the water sprays crashing on to her head reverberated through her head and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Being resurrected wasn't all what they made it out to be. It  _hurt_. Why did they bring her back anyway? She had died, and where she stood she wished she had remained dead. The thought made her feel guilty, she should be happy to have been given a second chance. She should feel excited about having to solve an impossible mission, that's usually what would have made her happy. The old her. The original her. Now she just felt tired and sore.

Glancing sideways she saw her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. This person, this  _thing_ staring back at her, it wasn't really her, or truth be told.  _She_ wasn't really her. This body was nothing but a shell, filled with a dead person's memories, feelings, thoughts, and ambitions, everything that a person consisted of. Still it was nothing but made up. She was as artificial as EDI, yet everyone regarded her with this strange awe. And amidst everything she felt used. She hadn't been resurrected because someone thought she might miss her life, or be happier alive, she had been resurrected to do someone else's bidding. She was nothing more than a tool. She may have opinions, but were they really her own?

Stepping out from the shower cabin she wasn't sure what to believe. She hated not knowing what to think or do. It was the one thing that had gotten her this far, the ability to know what to do without having to think about it, just reacting to any given situation. Now all she knew was that she had died as one person and come back as another.

Rue Shepard was tough, ruthless in some peoples' eyes. Traumatized, they said. By what happened to her at Mindoir, but in truth, Rue had more guts than most and was willing to risk herself and her crew for the good of the galaxy if need be. They all knew what they had signed up to, there was not dilly dallying with it. If you were afraid to die, then you had no business in the Alliance. Everyone had to make sacrifices, Rue knew this, and working as a soldier and commander she was faced with difficult decisions daily. It was her job to make them. The rush of the battle could keep her going for hours, it was that adrenaline that pushed her to her limits, made her the best, but then she had died.

_Fire as hot as the sun surrounds her, the Normandy shaking violently. There are explosions all around her, crew members laying scattered across the broken floor. Joker's arm is around her neck, then it's no longer there. Suddenly she's slung out from the ship, ribs breaking from the blast, suit ripping wide open at her neck, an intense pain rippling through her body. Images flashes. Not of her childhood, or her parents. Not of her comrades or her lover, but of every single face of those she has killed. One, two, three… forty-four, forty-five one hundred, two hundred. There were too many too count. Then, nothing._

Drying her scarred face she stared at the sad woman in front of her. This one had come back, returned from the abyss of death. This one was not brave. Green eyes blinked. This one was scared. She covered her face with her towel as she breathed slowly. People depended on her. She could not afford to be afraid. Removing the towel she looked back at her reflection once again, this time strong and defiant. That would have to do for now. She knew the Cerberus operative would be watching her every move, if she didn't act like the old her Miranda would notice it. Apparently nothing escaped the watchful eyes of that woman.

* * *

"You had a check up appointment with me this morning." Miranda said crossly as Rue stepped out from the elevator. She gave the director a flat stare before moving on to the kitchen. "Shepard!"

Rue grabbed her coffee turning around slowly narrowing her eyes. "I thought we had established that I was fine?" She answered dismissively before she moved towards the elevator closely followed by the informant.

"You got  _shot_ yesterday. I need to evaluate your condition." Miranda argued.

"I've been shot before." Another sip from her coffee.

" _Not_ in this body you haven't." She was cut off by Miranda who placed herself between Rue and the elevator doors, arms crossed, eyes blazing with anger. "You may be the captain, but when it comes to Project Lazarus  _I'm_ the director and you  _will_  do what I say." She emphasized the last few words, before her lips thinned.

Rue felt her temper rising, this Miranda was very bold talking to her in such manner. Taking a menacing step towards the informant she willed herself to stay calm. She stared into Miranda's eyes who showed nothing but fire and determination. Shaking her head Rue sighed inwardly. It was a look she recognised. One she'd seen in her own eyes on many occasions. It was a look that said, "try me" and Lord help her if the director ever found out, but she did not want to try and take Miranda on.

"Fine. But I'm bringing my coffee."

Miranda sighed resolutely behind her back. "Just. Go."

Despite herself Rue smiled as she walked towards Miranda's office. Something about making Miranda's life just a little more difficult seemed to make her happy somehow.  _I blame it on the original me._ She thought quietly to herself, finding it to be quite a nice excuse to use.

* * *

The office was spacious and Miranda had the luxury of having her office next to a large window gazing out at the vast darkness outside, planets and meteors streaking by like long-tailed orbs. Tilting her head slightly Rue saw the large bed behind Miranda's desk.

"You really are married to the job." She said sarcastically before leaning back into the chair.

"And you are lucky I am." Miranda retorted shortly.

"Am I?" Rue bit her tongue the second she let the words slip past her lips.

Miranda gave her a concerned look as she put down the dossier she held in her hands. "Is there something bothering you?"

"Not at all, the _subject_ is just fine." Rue tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

Miranda seemed to eye her momentarily before deciding she was telling the truth. "So, how are you feeling commander? How is your shoulder doing?"

"I feel fine, it was just a flesh wound, nothing serious." There wasn't any need for her to know about the headaches, they would pass.

"I've noticed your sleep pattern seems irregular." Miranda said as she looked through her notes.

"You noticed my sleep pattern? How could you possibly have noticed my sleep pattern without breaking some very personal boundaries?" Shepard frowned feeling her temper flare.

"Shepard, you're Project Lazarus subject and the Illusive Man's newest, most important asset. I've got EDI monitoring your cabin." Miranda said without flinching.

Rue stared incredulously at her. "You  _what_?" She stood up, towering above the informant.

"Commander, think. If you were in my position, what would  _you_ do?"

Rue's eyes twitched her one hand balled up into a fist before she sat back down. "Admittedly I would do the same, but for Christ sake Miranda, you could have warned me, it's a breach of privacy and you damn well know it."

"EDI only monitors physical states. She doesn't keep track of  _everything_  you do." Miranda said the corner of her mouth trying not to quirk upwards.

Rue raised her eye brow. "Oh, great. That makes me feel so much better."

"Well?" Miranda looked up from her dossier.

"It's fine. I always sleep like that…"

"Had any nausea, headaches or experienced memory loss?"

Rue willed herself to not flinch. "No. Nothing of the sort."

"Well then, commander. You're free to leave. I will fill in this report and send it to the Illusive man."

Rue nodded before getting up. "I'll let you work then."

* * *

Miranda watched the doors close behind the commander only for them to slid open seconds later.

"How can I help you commander?" Miranda asked, slightly bewildered as to why Shepard had returned so suddenly. It seemed the commander had something on her mind and she stood staring at her before she opened her mouth.

"Are you always this… focused?"

"Focused?" Miranda raised an eyebrow. That's not what the commander had meant to say.

"I was going to say cold, but it sounded cruel." The commander said bluntly, observing Miranda as she did so.

Shepard's words stung slightly, but were neither original nor unusual when it came to describing her. It was quite the opposite, and for good reason. Keeping her emotions in check and keeping people at an arms length was what had gotten her this far. It had helped her survive. Escape her crazy, egomaniac father. Not only that, it was how she had been designed. To be the best, to be the smartest, that –she had learnt– did not earn you any friends. Being her meant being alone. Miranda kept her mask on, clasping her hands on the desk in front of her.

"I don't see the point with your question."

"Look Miranda, you keep prodding and poking me, and I'm sure you know more of me than I do, but you're also apart of my team. That means I want to know who's got my back out there. I want to know who I can trust." The commander looked at her intensely.

It did make sense, Miranda knew this. She had just told Shepard she was letting EDI keep records of her life in the cabin, unseen by everyone else, it would seem only fair for Shepard to want something in return, but she just didn't know what Shepard's goal was. Was she going to use Cerberus for her own agenda? The Illusive Man might be overly impressed with the commander, but Miranda doubted he recognized Shepard for what she was,  _one_ woman. The whole galaxy, the Illusive Man included, praised Shepard for her skills –she had saved the Citadel and the council from certain doom after all. But that were two years ago and the person standing in front of her had been woken up too early. No doubt it had Shepard's memories and tissue, and quite a few nice upgrades, but was she ready? Was this Shepard really ready for the mission?

There were no guarantees Shepard could do this, not now. Miranda hadn't planned on waking Shepard up just yet. They needed more time to run test on the subject.  _The subject_ … She'd spent every day these past two years piecing the commander back together. Every hour of the day had been spent researching Shepard's past pouring over dossier after dossier, finding out everything there was to know.

Medical history, personal history, she had read Shepard's psychological evaluation, watched recorded interviews, read old reports about Shepard's achievements, she had even talked to the commander's old lover, the Asari doctor Liara T'Soni. She'd studied Shepard for so long and so well that Shepard had been reduced to a thing rather than a person to Miranda. Maybe if they had integrated Shepard with the control chip Miranda would have felt safer, felt more certain that Shepard would be an asset and not a liability, but as it was, Shepard was not integrated with a chip.

"Commander, let me tell you about myself. I can shoot the head off any target from a distance of a hundred meters, and was I to find myself without any weapons I could just as easily take out any target with just my biotics."

Shepard looked bored and least of all impressed where she sat. "I'm sure you can handle yourself. I'm not interested in your merits. I want to know _who_  youare." Shepard pointed her finger at her in an authoritarian manner. "Integrity says a lot about a person."

_I have integrity. You don't even know me!_ Miranda wanted to retort, but kept silent. Shepard was trying to provoke her. "All you need to know is that I'm more than capable, now, we can either just sit here and talk about it or we could get this done. Like I told you I'm  _not_ here to make friends."

"Obviously."

* * *

Rue was annoyed where she stood by her private terminal staring at the screen. It had been a simple question. One simple question, and yet, the director had refused to answer it. It wasn't like Rue had asked for Miranda's life story, she just wanted to know who the director was.  _Why do you want to know anyway?_  She knit her brows together. Why did she want to know? Was it really that she needed to know if she could trust Miranda? How could she trust Miranda? She reported straight to the Illusive Man, she worked directly and willingly for this group.

As much as Rue wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt her Alliance background held her in a firm grip and Cerberus was and would never be any more than a human terrorist group. They only had the best interest of humans at heart and this was their excuse to extort and black mail aliens. They were extremists using a good cause as their front. Rue didn't like it at all. One only had to scrape on the surface to see that everything wasn't as it seemed when it came to Cerberus and so far the director had given Rue no reason to trust her.

Rue shook her head. This could prove to be a problem. She needed to know Miranda would not be a liability to her crew on this mission. Still at the same time Rue was painfully aware of the fact that regardless of that she needed the director. She needed Cerberus. As much as she hated to admit it the Alliance had given up on her, they had declared her dead, and she had been dead. She looked up abruptly as something occurred to her.  _How_ had they gotten hold of her body?

"Commander?" Yeoman Chambers was standing next to her, a coy smile, eyes sparkling.

"Yes?"

"You have unread messages at your terminal." The yeoman said.

"Kelly… I'm  _at_ my terminal…" Rue said slowly.

"I know, but I had written a note to remind you, so I thought I might as well use that excuse to come talk to you." She bit her bottom lip smiling.

Rue chuckled. "You don't need an excuse to talk to me, do you?"

"Well, I'll remember that." Kelly winked before her terminal made a faint beeping noise. "Talk to you later Commander."

Rue watched her go with an amused grin. Working with Cerberus certainly had its perks. This would have annoyed Liara. She laughed to herself before sighing. She couldn't shake the thought of the Asari. Looking at yeoman Chambers she knew she could more than enjoy herself with her, but she also knew she longed for something else. Someone else. Scanning her unread messages she was hoping to see the Asari's name, but upon searching her inbox twice she found no sign of the Asari's name.  _What did you expect_?

"I don't know."

* * *

"I don't get it Jacob!" Miranda exclaimed. "I told her everything and she wasn't even remotely impressed!" She paced back and forth inside Jacob's office. "She should be ecstatic to have me on her team. I'm superior to anyone else, and she didn't even flinch!"

"Human." Jacob said shortly as he kept organizing the different upgrade parts for their weapons on his table.

"What?" She stopped pacing.

"Superior to any human." Jacob corrected her calmly.  She studied him from where she had stopped. Jacob the ideallistic, former alliance soldier who she had almost shared a bed with once. Almost. If she didn't stay the night it didn't really count. 

"Miranda." Jacob looked up from his work putting the upgrades aside. "Shepard's not like that. Statistics won't impress her. Courage and heart will, and we both know you got it. Now, Shepard just needs to know that as well."

Miranda sighed heavily and sagged into one of the large armchairs. "Jacob… do you really think she's ready for this?"

"You spent the last two years on this project because you believed in it. You  _know_ she's ready. Besides, this is the woman who led a small team against Saren and his army and defeated him. No casualties. Of course she's ready."

"It's my head on the line if she isn't… perhaps I can evaluate her one more time, just to be sure."

"Well, you should hurry up then, we're picking up the convict in two hours. Although you could try and just talk to her you know." Jacob said returning his attention to the upgrades, leaving Miranda to ponder quietly to herself.

"Fine." She muttered as she got up and left the room.

"Fine, what?" Jacob called from behind her before the doors shut.

* * *

"I don't trust you."

Shepard lifted her eyes from the tray of food staring into Miranda's blue eyes.

"Blunt enough." She replied taking a sip from her glass of water. "Have a seat."

Miranda placed her tray on the table in front of the commander. "The triangle. What is it for?"

Shepard quirked her eyebrow before looking down at the space between her thumb and index finger. A black triangle had been tattooed into her skin there. "You really did think of everything." She sounded impressed and Miranda smiled, holding her head slightly higher.

"I had it done ages ago on Bekenstein when my first unit and I stopped there before a mission. It's a reminder of the family I lost."

"I…" Miranda felt a pang of guilt as she realized it probably wasn't anything the commander ever talked about. She hadn't read it in any of the dossiers and Liara, the Asari who possessed many –if not all– of Shepard's memories through the meld, hadn't told her such thing.

"Didn't know? No, it's not in the files I guess."

Miranda studied the commander. So this was the key to who Shepard was. It wasn't the glory, or the fame, not even revenge that drove her. Suddenly Miranda saw it so clearly, how could she have been so blind? How could any of them? Every mission successfully completed, every civilian and soldier saved was the very face of her family. She did it for redemption! But why would Shepard blame herself? She had been nothing more than a child, sixteen the reports said, still she had taken out nearly one third of the Batarian raiders before she was shot and fell off the cliff she was hiding on. Assumed to be dead the raiders left her barely alive to be found by the Alliance team several hours later. 

_She wonders why her_. Miranda realized. It stunned the director where she sat. She had heard many stories of the woman who had brought Saren and Sovereign to their knees. All told of this strong woman who feared nothing. This solider who was fearless, stopped at nothing. But none of the stories could ever do the commander justice. None of them ever described what Miranda saw sitting there in front of her.

That's why she's known to be such a great leader, because she cares about her crew. She may not regard her own life with much respect, but she would die for her comrades. Miranda had read in a report that Shepard referred to herself as the noble savage, this statement had left many confused, but now it made perfectly sense. Miranda suddenly saw the person sitting in front of her. That person, the woman looking back at Miranda,  would go to any extent to keep them safe. Could she really say the same about herself?

"So…" Shepard interrupted the awkward silence that had settled. "Ever had anything done yourself?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Shepard chuckled, folding her arms, weighing on her chair. "Is that an offer?"

Miranda snorted. "In your dreams Commander."

"Oh, I forgot, we're not supposed to be friends." Shepard smiled wryly. "Well then, I better take my leave before anyone sees you actually enjoy talking over lunch." She winked before leaving Miranda slightly annoyed, yet… intrigued.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Trust

_Rue never knew the effect she had on me. She was never aware of the effect she had on anyone. Rue was not the typical leader. She never demanded loyalty. She earned it. That was what everyone admired about her. That was why I fell in love with her. In battle she was as cold and heartless as stone, but for those in need she was the solid shelter and warm comfort. She inspired people. Gave them hope. She was a hero to them, but to me she was just Rue. The woman I held close at night. Who loved me for an eternity, or maybe just a moment. No matter how long or short I will never regret it. Giving myself to her. I only regret not telling her. Maybe one day you will._

 

 *******  

SHE WOKE UP SCREAMING, HER heart racing. Staring wildly about the room, sitting up in her empty bed she covered her face with her hands as she wept uncontrollably. The dream was always the same. The Normandy, the safety pods. Then the instant pain she had felt when Rue had seized to exist. She'd been strapped into her seat inside the pod when it felt like someone thrust a hand inside her chest and ripped out her lounges and heart. She had screamed then as the bond between her and her lover had been severed. A blood curling scream had erupted from her lips as she clutched at her chest.

Forcing herself to breathe slowly the Asari pulled up the cover, shielding herself from the cold air in her luxurious apartment reaching for the water glass next to the bed. It had been two years and six weeks since that fateful night on The Normandy and still the nightmares kept returning. They had become more vivid since she left the remains of Rue's body with the Cerberus group and the guilt kept gnawing away at her. She knew it was wrong. Rue wouldn't have wanted that, but she couldn't face losing her, and still… that's exactly what she had done, and not only that, she had sacrificed a friend's safety while recovering Rue's body. Rue would have chided her.

She smiled at the thought of the striking commander she had met all those years ago. She had been like a silly teenage girl, only one hundred and six, and instantly infatuated with the charming commander. She remembered their first meld and the sensation it had invoked within her. How she had blushed when she caught Rue eyeing her appreciatively. It had been so new to her, so thrilling and enticing. It was unlike anything else she had ever experienced, and even for her lack of skills in communication she was terrible when talking to Rue. The commander had been patient with her, giving her space when she needed it, nudged her a little extra when she wanted it. Then they had joined. Liara had never been surer of anything. In Rue's presence she was weakened, sparks flew like a glorious firework display whenever they we're in each other's presence, and no logic, no paragraphs or rules could talk sense into her when Rue stood close to her.

Twenty one nights. That's how many nights they had spent together. Twenty one mornings was how many mornings she had woken up to find Rue grinning next to her before pulling her into an embrace. Sometimes when she woke up and the sun hit her face Liara could swear she saw Rue's head on the pillow next to her, but then when she reached out to touch her she was no longer there. Nothing but thin air her poor replacement.

Leaning her head into her palm Liara sighed before looking out at Illium's magnificent skyline. Two long years and still she hadn't heard a word about Cerberus progress with Rue. As much as she wanted to think it was wrong, parts of her hoped they would have succeeded by now. She shook her head. What would it matter anyway? Even if Rue came knocking on her door tomorrow she couldn't just take off with her. No, she had to find a way to help Feron. She was indebted to him and she would make the Shadow Breaker pay for what he had done, all the pain he had caused. He was going to sell Rue to the highest bidder – the collectors! He deserved no less than what was coming for him. There was no mercy in her heart, only cold, pure hatred. Innocence had since long left the Asari's fair face and now her jaws clenched with a coldness and determination that would have scared the commander. Throwing her covers aside she grabbed her robe as she went. The Shadow Broker never slept. Why should she?

~•~

The Purgatory ship was enormous and still Miranda could hear the distant screams from the prisoners echo and bounce between the walls. She didn't feel particularly affected by this, they did deserve to be here after all, although she wasn't entirely sure she agreed with the warden's view on making a profit from a business such as this one. Then again, it was just another way of earning one's living. Morality really had nothing to do with it, and in all fairness, he did make sure these criminals were locked away, unable to cause any problems. There were of course a thousand loopholes in this theory as well, but she hadn't had the time to read all the files about this place to analyze it properly. Shepard however seemed concerned with how the inmates were treated and had already had time to threaten a guard to let him have a taste of his own medicine if he didn't stop the beating they witnessed. Shepard had sounded dangerously angry and the guard had, understandably, lost his nerve and interrupted the beating. Miranda smiled though because for some strange, moronic and unexplainable reason to her, she found the commander endearing trying to stop a beating on a ship like the Purgatory.

Shepard was following the guard sent to guide them to Jack, looking stern as she interrogated him about the Purgatory. Miranda glanced sideways at Jacob who looked uninterested and slightly bored when she heard Shepard's voice call out to her.

"Miranda, I remember what the protocol was called."

Miranda blinked in confusion. _What_? Looking over at the commander she saw Shepard place her hands behind her back, right hand covering her left as her right index finger tapped quickly on the side of her left hand. Something was amiss.

"Yes, _The Reaper And Protheans_."

 _The what?_ Miranda racked her brain. Shepard was trying to tell her something, but what. Watching her finger tap the informant silently cursed herself for not taking those morse code classes. _Think Miranda… She using a code._

"I must forward it to the office then." _Think!_

"That you must do." Shepard said flatly.

 _Lettering! What was the words again?_ "The Reaper And Protheans, you said?"

"Sure did."

 **_T_ ** _he_ **_R_ ** _eapers_ **_A_ ** _nd_ **_P_ ** _rotheans. Trap!_ Turning to Jacob without flinching she lowered her eyes towards his gun. He caught on to her signal giving her a barely visible nod.

"I know where that file is. I'll have it sent first thing when we get back,"

"Well Commander, just go inside that room and Jack should be there." The guard said pointing towards a doorway.

"Thank you." Shepard said before her arms flew up towards the guard's head. She wrung it so fiercely it snapped with a loud crunching noise. Miranda and Jacob flared their biotics crushing the two nearby guards clearing their way as Shepard drew her gun.

"Nice work." She smiled her crooked smile at them before turning around. "Now let's get Jack and get the hell out of here."

The guards came running from all directions as the warden's voice roared in the speakers above their head. "Shepard! I was hoping you wouldn't put up a fight. It would just be easier to let me capture you. You are worth a lot of credits, and I have more manpower than you have bullets."

"You have no idea, asshole. You _don't_ want to be my enemy!" The commander shouted as she stormed towards the guards, closely followed by the two biotics.

 

~•~

 

Illium was quiet during this time of the night and Liara marvelled at the serenity that had settled across the otherwise bustling city. She let her hand slide along the cold railing of the balcony as she slowly wandered the length of it. The brisk night breeze caressed her face and she closed her eyes, the dossier from her desk still switched off, resting in her left hand. The dream had unsettled her. Had awoken the strong longing she had suppressed for so long. She feared it would overwhelm her, so powerful was it she thought it might bring her to her knees.

She had travelled all across the galaxy to recover Rue's body, she had fought Blue Suns, Turians, Batarians, and any type of mercenary one could think of. She had done all that because she believed Rue might still be alive at first, despite what had happened to their bond. She had persuaded herself it was the blast, the distance, anything else but…death. Then Feron had told her and numbness had swallowed her like a black hole would devour a spaceship. She had demanded to see the body, making sure it was really Rue. That was before the Blue Sun agents attacked. Things after that seemed like a haze and she remembered it with difficulty, maybe because she chose to. It was too hard to think of. Despite knowing better she had left Rue's body in the hand of Cerberus. Somehow it seemed better than in the hands of the collectors or any other thieving crew. In a galaxy full of wrong it seemed like the lesser evil.

She stopped her slow walk and leant against the railing. Her guilt felt self-indulgent now. She couldn't change the choice she made, and the Asari wasn't sure she'd do it differently were she to be given that chance. Rue meant too much to her. When it came to the red-headed commander Liara was fiercely selfish. She wasn't proud about it, but it was the truth nonetheless. She lifted her hand with the dossier and switched it on. She might not be able to redeem herself for what she with Rue's body, but she could try still try and save Feron – if he was still alive, then at least his blood would not be on her hands.

 

~•~

 

"Shepard they've seen us!" Miranda alerted the commander. Rue barely had time to dodge the hissing bullet as she ducked in behind some crates for cover. This was an unpleasant surprise.

Guards and mechs poured in from the far end of the large cargo hold. Some of them continued onwards while others broke the formation to chase after the rampant inmates who'd been let out by Rue when she freed Jack from cryo. It was either that or lose the convict, and that wasn't part of Rue's plan. The guards were replaced by mechs who marched mechanically towards them firing their weapons. _Shit_!

Even though killing living species was never fun business, mechs were far more difficult and time consuming to kill. The bullets tore through the air with the familiar mechanical click as clips were emptied and released. Rue's head pounded with excitement and fear, adrenaline coursing through her veins. Closing her eyes she listened to the rhythmic rattling of guns fired. _Thump. Thump. Thump-thump-thump. Click._ There it was. It was fast, instant, but still the only opportunity Rue needed. Her eyes snapped open and she kicked out from the wall, blasting the mechs with her Phalanx as she slid across the floor. Miranda and Jacob followed suit bolting out from their covers.

Miranda's hand glowed with her biotic powers as an invisible force erupted from her hands throwing five of the mechs of balance. Jacob pulled and levitated another one high up in the air. It crashed ungracefully to the floor. Reloading her guns Rue charged at the enemies, arms held in front of her, shields active. At first she ran, ducking into cover every now and then, but then she slowed into determined, long steps, felling one mech after the other. Releasing the emptied clips she swiped her guns at the fully loaded clips strapped to the side of her thighs. The clips clicked into the empty valve with a reassuring snap. Throwing her arms out to her sides she took out the remaining mechs when she heard it – the Heavy Mech that appeared in the corner of her eye.

"Of course." She muttered.

"Overload!" Miranda shouted firing off a powerful blast at the Heavy Mech.

"Take out its shields!" Rue ordered a she spun on her heels sprinting towards it. Best way to kill something – shoot it in the head. Hurtling across a ramp flanking the Heavy Mech's right side Rue used the small rising to push herself into the air as she leapt towards the large killing machine.

"Commander!" The raven-haired informant exclaimed antagonized.

Rue grit her teeth as she somersaulted through the air across the Heavy Mech. Steadying her arms, she emptied the last of her ammunition into the mech's head. Hilts sprayed from her guns, landing like raindrops on the ground with clicking noises. The mech's head exploded as she landed in a crouch behind it.

"Don't move a muscle or I'll blow your brains out." The cold voice said, pressing the muzzle against the back of her head. "And drop your weapons."

Rue grinned letting her guns drop to the floor. "You _have_ to be Jack."

The woman rounded her and Rue could see the colourful tattoos that graced her lithe frame. She glared angrily at Rue who stood up slowly.

"How do you know my name? Who the fuck are you?" She waved her shotgun in Rue's face moving menacingly towards her.

"I'm Rue Shepard."

"Wait. Shepard? _The_ Shepard? You're the bitch who blew up that Reaper ship." Jack took a step backwards, studying Rue with scrutinizing eyes.

"That would be me. I've been looking for you."

"Shit. I thought you were dead."

"I was. Now I'm looking to recruit people for my team."

"You think I would join your… whatever your…" The woman caught herself midsentence when she saw Jacob and Miranda step out from their hiding places, her expression darkening even more.

"Cerberus! You're working for _them_? Those bastards did this to me!" The convict screamed enraged.

"I wouldn't put it like that…"

"Well FUCK you!" Jack spat. "I'll have nothing to do with these bastards." She nodded towards Miranda and Jacob glaring daggers at them.

"I'm sorry." Jacob said in his calm, diplomatic voice, slowly taking a step forward. "I don't know what Cerberus might have done to upset you, but you'd be answering to Commander Shepard."

"Yeah? And who does Shepard answer to boy scout?"

"I answer to _no one_." Rue cut them both off. "Now this place is going down and I want to be gone before the shit hits the fan. You can either stay here or come with us, either way we're leaving now." Rue said angrily turning her back towards the convict.

"If I go with you I want access to every single file that Cerberus has on me."

"That's not possible, those files are classified information." Miranda pointed out.

"Who asked you cheerleader?" Jack waved her gun at the informant.

"Consider it done. Now _move_ out." Rue ordered as the ship shook violently.

"Fine, although I should point out… this ship is set to self-destruct should it ever be breached." Jack said.

"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it?" Shepard swore under her breath. Did everything have to be so difficult?

"Commander. I'm rerouting you out. The entrance to the dock area has been blocked and cannot be accessed. You should move towards the lower wards. There's a landing bridge there used to transport inmates." EDI's voice coordinated her.

"Make ready for pick up in five minutes." Rue commanded turning a right turn, running down the metal staircase.

 

~•~

 

Liara moved away from the railing casting one last glance across her shoulder before retreating into her apartment. The sky was still dark, the faint stars glittering like little fireflies above her head. She had read about the creatures in one of her books while researching the human culture. The apartment was nicely designed by Asari standards, opulent with high ceilings, large panorama windows allowing her to always take comfort in the magnificent view of Illium. It was by anyone's standard extravagant. She moved slowly down the stairs that bent around a thick pillar.

The dossier had been useless. Nothing she didn't already know about the Shadow Broker was to be found in it, all the same old info, but no clue as to where his hideout could be found. It was like chasing a ghost. Whenever she thought she had something it turned out to be a cold trail, or inaccurate. Every attempt she had made to intercept the Shadow Broker's movement had failed. Walking over to the kitchen she stared at the fancy coffee machine. She had bought it when she first arrived at Illium, still somewhere secretly hoping Shepard would come walking into the kitchen grumbling something about blasted Reapers, early hours and no coffee. Rue could barely manage to grunt some mornings before having one of her morning coffees. Liara shook her head ruefully. Shepard had never even visited apartment still her presence was etched into it from memories that wouldn't fade. Liara didn't want them too either, but some days when the emptiness felt like the only true thing in the world, then she wished that they at least would not affect her so.

Pulling the robe closer around her she drew a deep breath where she stood. Reminiscing would get her nowhere. She had to focus on the Shadow Broker, on how to bring him down. It would keep her mind off of things most days.

" _Will this ever be over?" The young Asari asked as she pulled the human's arm around her waist._

" _I don't know." Rue answered before kissing Liara's favourite spot, pulling the Asari closer, her body wrapped perfectly around Liara's. "What do you think it would be like?"_

" _What?"_

" _Staying here. Just you and me, until it's all over. No more fighting Geth, no more fighting the council."_

" _It would be irresponsible." Liara smiled at the thought._

" _But it would be worth it. Sometimes I want to leave, hand the task over to someone else."_

_Sitting up the Asari watched the commander. "You don't just fight this war for the council or everyone else. You fight it for us. You and me. Our future."_

Liara stood staring at nothing lost in thoughts before she inhaled sharply pulling herself together. Whatever future they may have planned or not planned, it didn't matter anymore. Rue was gone. It was up to her to help keep the galaxy safe, and taking down the Shadow Broker seemed like a good way to start.

 

~•~

 

Jack leapt on to the Normandy closely followed by Jacob when the whole ship shook violently. Miranda stumbled backwards into Shepard who grabbed her arm, holding her firmly.

"Go, go, go!" She shouted when the bridge tore off the landing thick flames and smoke engulfing it.

The informant and commander were slung backwards from the blast crashing into the metal doors behind them. Shelves toppled over, lamps came off the ceiling crashing down onto the floor, glass shattering everywhere around them as the flames burst up all around them. Shaking her head Shepard grunted before sitting up. Miranda crawled into a crouch, ducking the flames licking the ceiling above their heads.

Shepard's ears rang from the loud explosion and she made a wry face as her earpiece crackled.

"Commander. Can you hear us?" Jacob's voice sounded distant in their earpieces.

"Jacob, I read you. EDI, how do we get out of here?" Shepard asked staring at the belching flames and smoke separating them from the Normandy.

"The door behind you has been blocked by debris from the blast, and the ducts have filled with smoke. The only way out is straight ahead."

"EDI, straight ahead is a _sea of fire_."

"I'm sorry Commander that is the only exit point I can detect."

"What now?" Miranda asked the commander whose gaze swept across the room. They stopped suddenly and she walked over to one of the shelves that had toppled over in the explosion.

It was a large shelf and a metal wire wrapped itself around the four corners of the shelf, top to bottom, to keep the shipments in place while placed on the shelf. Kneeling next to it Shepard pulled out a small object resembling a tiny torch. A small laser beam shout out from it severing the wire at both ends.

"Nifty little thing." She grinned pulling at the wire.

"I'm glad to see your spending spree at Harrot's Emporium wasn't a complete waste." Miranda commented dryly.

"You just wait till I'm done with this, then I'll rock your world." Shepard chuckled as she fastened the wire to a big barrel.

"What are we doing?"

"You'll see. EDI, how close up can you get to us?"

"According to my estimates no closer than thirty feet."

"And with your skill Joker?"

"Another six feet."

"I strongly advise not to..."

"It's ok. I can handle it." Joker cut the AI off sourly.

"Good, now Jacob, I'm going to use my Throw on a barrel, throwing it your way, I think…when you see it – pull. Pull it until you can secure it on the Normandy. Understood?"

"Yes Commander."

Waiting for Joker's signal she wrapped the wire around her arm and her hand.

"Commander, we're in position."

Shepard backed away from the barrel, gripping the thin wire firmly in her hand. Turning to Miranda she grinned impishly. "Miranda, get over here now."

"Wait, what are we..?"

"Your belt." Rue interrupted her. "Loosen it up and strap it around our waists."

Suddenly realizing what Shepard was about to do the informant found herself backing away.

"Are you insane?"

"I might be, but this is our only way out of here."

"It's suicide! There has got to be another way." Miranda tried to argue.

"Listen to me." Rue stepped forward and grabbed her wrist pulling her closer. "You have to trust me."

Miranda's mind reeled. Now? She had to trust her _now_? Shepard wanted to leap through a wall of fire with the aid of a wire as thin as a mouse's tail. Rue locked eyes with her.

" _Trust me_."

Looking into the commander's eyes she saw raw determination. Perhaps this wouldn't normally work, but Shepard was determined to pull it off, and Miranda knew if Shepard had set her mind to something there was little –if no– stopping her.

"Ok. Fine." She replied strapping her belt around their waists.

"Jacob!" Shepard called as she used what little biotic she had to hurl the barrel through the air. The wire tensed, pulling them towards the fire slightly.

"Ok, hold on to me." Rue instructed as she pulled the informant closer. "Oh, and this is strictly professional." She added.

Miranda chuckled in response partly at the bizarre situation, party because she was sure it wasn't _strictly_ professional.

"When I say, activate your shields, ok?"

The informant nodded, bracing herself.

"And I need you to do one more thing."

"Whatever you need Commander."

"When we get through that fire I need you to pull."

"On what?"

"The Normandy."

"The Normandy? But I can't pull anything _that big_. It won't pull, we'll be…"

"Pulled towards it." Shepard filled in smugly.

Impressed by the commander's plan Miranda nodded quietly before looking at Shepard.

"Are you sure this is going to work?"

"Well… Technically it… _could_ work."

"Commander, we're ready. The wire has been fastened and secured. We'll take off at your command."

"Go Joker! Miranda, shields now!"

Flaring her shields she felt herself jerk upwards roughly. Shepard grunted in discomfort as her arm was pulled above their heads, holding both of their weights. They flew through the air hitting the wall of fire with a dull thud. The fire only surrounded them for mere seconds, but her shields burned out almost immediately. Miranda hid her face from the intense heat in the bend where Rue's neck met shoulder, clinging on to the commander desperately. She didn't look up until she felt the cold air wash over them. Looking up she saw the Normandy and pulled for all she was worth. She could see Jacob and Jack pulling, their hands glowing with biotics. They sped up towards the Normandy tumbling through the opened gateway, crashing into the airlocks back wall. They both lay still just breathing until they realized half of Normandy's crew was hovering around them.

"That was one hell of a pull." Shepard smiled like a Cheshire cat earning herself a slap from the informant.

 

~•~

 

"Liara." Nyxeris said carefully as she entered her office.

Lifting her gaze from the multiple screens she smiled at her secretary. "Yes?"

"Did you hear the news this morning about the Purgatory."

"The prisoner ship?" Liara frowned. She rarely listened to the news nowadays. Whatever information she needed and she could sell would not be heard on the news therefore it had little meaning to her.

"Supposedly there was a break out and the ship self-destructed. From what I've heard there was a human terrorist group responsible for the attack."

"That's odd." Human terrorist group? It sounded eerily familiar.

"I…" Nyxeris wore a strange look on her face.

"What is it?"

"They know how blew up the ship."

Liara's frown grew deeper. Where was this going?

"It was the human spectre -Shepard."

 

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me and Rue have been watching far too much MacGuyver. ;)  
> Thanks again for all the reviews, subscriptions, favings and such! Now that Shepard has gained a little bit of Miranda's trust things might just go a little smoother between them, but what about Liara? How will she react to the news that Rue is alive and haven't tried to contact her?  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)  
> Till next time!
> 
> ~Elmjuniper


	5. Know Thy Subject

_In the first few days we spent together we talked about casual things that didn't really matter. We_ _worked along side each other, never venturing close enough, always keeping at a safe distance, but something changed. Doesn't it always? And although I was terrified, I felt_ _exhilarated at the same time._

 ***

MIRANDA WAS COLD AND CALCULATING. At least that's what she wanted people to believe, but Rue had figured the raven-haired woman out. During their flight from the Purgatory she had seen that the way Miranda looked at her. They had shared a brief moment of trust, and for that moment she knew there was more to the informant that met the eye.

She had spent the past days observing her from afar, watching Miranda interact with the others. She was fiercely focused on her work, on the task at hand, never once wavering in her concentration when debriefing the new members of the crew. Rue found herself admiring the other woman's knowledge and skill. She was smart, just as smart as she had said she was, and she was sharp with the gun. However Miranda wasn't the best at dealing with neither her own or others emotions, that much was clear from hers and Jack's earlier dispute. Entering the informant's office she felt Miranda's eyes burn at her.

"What do you want from me?" The informant snapped irritably where she sat behind her desk.

"I just want to know if you can handle being on the same crew as Jack." Shepard answered indifferently where she stood. Showing her desperation to keep crew morale up would only give the informant the upper hand and she wasn't about to let that happen. They were facing the collectors, and mercenaries. Sitting like ducks waiting for the Reapers' oncoming army, all that was needed for everyone to give up hope was a poor crew. She needed them to think they could defeat this threat. She needed them to feel it, even though at the back of her mind she had already doomed them all to hell. She wanted to shake her head. Was this all there was to life? Fighting the Geth, the Reapers, would the threat of extinction never end?

"Look." Miranda stood up. "I'm in this because I believe in Cerberus and what they're doing. I'm not here for that  _woman_. I can handle it."

"I can't have the both of you on my team if she's going to be a distraction."

Miranda snorted and crossed her arms. "Let's just stick to procedure. There's no need for you to engage yourself further."

Shepard could see the raven-haired woman's eyes flicker slightly. Insecurity.

"Miranda. I care about my team." Shepard nudged, just enough to push the informant slightly in the right direction.

"Considering you spent the last two years making sure I was being put back together correctly it's the least I can do." Rue tried to ease the tension.

"So you  _care_ simply out of duty. Well don't do me any favours Commander." Miranda retorted, closing up like a clam once again.

 _Shit_.

"I should go, let you work then." Shepard said resolutely.

"You should." Miranda agreed glaring sullenly at the commander before turning her back at her.

Shepard sighed as she left Miranda's office before turning on her heels. "I gather you don't like other people much, but this wasn't up to any of us, so could we all at least try to get along? It would encourage me to save your ass out there. Besides I thought we had gotten over this thing. Apparently I was wrong."

Miranda opened her mouth to protest, but closed it before nodding reluctantly.

~•~

Liara sat quietly behind her desk. Nyxeris' words still rang in her head. She hadn't moved since she politely told Nyxeris she had some unfinished work and that she needed to be left alone, her hands still clasped tightly in front of her. Shepard was alive and she hadn't contacted her? Liara felt bewildered, hurt. Why wouldn't Rue contact her? A horrible thought hit her, what if she didn't even remember her? Or worse…what if she did and just didn't want to contact the Asari again. Rue must know it was she who gave her body to Cerberus. That's why she hadn't contacted her.

Liara felt her chest tie into a knot, tears of joy and sadness streaming down her face. Rue was alive!  _Alive_. She wouldn't be able to talk to her or be with her, by Rue's choice, but at least she was alive and well, considering she was blowing up prison ships. Liara smiled despite the feeling of rejection. What else would Rue do the minute she woke up, but try and set the galaxy right? That's what she loved about her after all.

She would give Rue time, if she wanted to see her, have Liara explain the choice she made, then she would come to her, but the Asari did not want to push the commander.  _Forcing her to come and talk to me would only make her hate me, besides I was never really good at talking._  Taking a deep breath Liara turned her focus back to her screens. Rue was alive, now she could focus fully on saving Feron.

~•~

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Jack's sneered as she followed Miranda with a scowl. The informant however strode past the convict looking as cold as ever.

"Cut it out." Shepard muttered from the far end of the table.

"I still don't see why we should trust Cerberus  _or_ her." Garrus said narrowing his eyes, some of the other crew members casting knowing glances between themselves.

"Because we need them." The commander answered shortly before adding. "Anyway, that's not why we're here. We're heading towards Horizon, the colony is under attack as we speak. The information was wired to us only moments ago."

"You mean the mystery man upstairs told you." Joker's voice said from the speaker.

"Yeah, something like that." Shepard sneered. "We need to be quick and efficient down there. Look for any signs of survivors, and stay  _together_." She eyed them all, letting her gaze linger slowly on each one of them, her eyes weighing the seriousness of the situation.

"We split up in two teams. Garrus, you lead my second team. Jack and Miranda you're with me. Mordin and Grunt you go with Garrus."

Miranda felt like gagging at the thought of having to stay in a team with Jack, but knew her emotions had nothing to do with the mission. If Shepard believed this to be best for this mission then she had no complaints. Staring flatly in front of her she ignored the comments made by the others.

"You all got your orders. Now go prepare. We'll touch down in twenty and I want you all suited up and ready to move out by then."

The crew members nodded, scattering as Shepard turned her backs towards them seemingly waiting for them all to leave. Miranda lingered until everyone had left the room before clearing her throat.

"Yes?" The commander turned around.

"Do you really think this is the best way to group up for this mission or are you trying to meddle?" Miranda said sounding a little angrier than she was.

Shepard's eyes seemed tired. "No, I'm not meddling. You should go suit up." She dismissed her.

Miranda nodded before leaving. She hated feeling like this. Like everyone was questioning her. She was good at her work. She had revived Shepard for Christ sake! Still everyone around that table had looked at her as if she was the Illusive Man's little secretary. It infuriated her. Instead of questioning her loyalty to this mission they should all be concentrating on helping Shepard get through the Omega 4-Relay.

Getting out from the elevator she saw Jacob standing outside her doors. She quickly took a step backwards. Not now… She needed to be alone and think.

~•~

"Where the hell are you?" Rue snarled where she walked the landing. The rest of the crew members had already gathered and the only one missing was the informant.

"Cheerleader bailing on us? I knew she wasn't cut out fo…"

"Shut your mouth Jack or I'll shut it for you." Rue was growing tired of the convicts sniping comments. They weren't exactly keeping morale up, but just causing tension in the group.

"You could try and…"

"And you'd be nothing but a bloody smudge on that wall." Rue had drawn her gun, pressing the muzzle of it on the underside of Jack's jaw before any of the crew had time to react.

"Shit Shepard. Go easy." Jack said trying to sound nonchalant, but Rue heard the slight quiver in the convict's voice.

"Wait here." Rue muttered as she left the companions, heading for the elevator. Miranda had to be somewhere, the question was only where.

Rue found the informant in the engine room, sitting on the thick railing, her legs swung across the round metal bars.

"You ok?" She asked as she climbed onto the bars.

Miranda remained silent, staring in front of herself. Shepard sighed slightly as she bent her head, staring down the deep engine shaft.

"I know it's not easy for you. Having people doubt you all the time."

The informant's face remained unemotional, but Rue could see Miranda clench her jaws.

"I get it. We have a task, you're focused. Don't have time to feel so none of this actually bothers you, but in case it would… I trust you and I couldn't do this without you."

Miranda turned to look at her in surprise. "But you…"

"Said I'd never work for Cerberus? I don't, but I work with  _you_." Rue replied placing her hand briefly on Miranda's expecting her to withdraw it, but instead she smiled turning her attention back to the cylindrical shaft in front of her.

"I told Jack to lay off of you. I don't think she'll bother you that much anymore."

Miranda smiled. "Thank you Shepard, but I can take care of myself."

"I know, but I hate to see you sad."

Miranda's head snapped towards Rue's, eyes widened in anxiety. Once you figured out what to look for in the informant it was easy to read her.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone." She winked before spinning on the bars. "You know where to find me if you need to talk, but for now… we got some colonists to rescue."

"I wish we could actually do that, but you saw Freedom's Progress…" Her voice trailed off.

"Hopefully Horizon will be different." Rue glanced at the informant standing next to her in the elevator. Miranda's jet black hair rested lightly on her shoulders, not even a strand of hair out of place. Her defined jaw line more relaxed, and the plumb lips slightly parted. There was something soft about her appearance despite the mask she wore. Under different circumstances it would have been nice to get to know the informant more. Rue frowned. Under better circumstances? When would that be? In her case it seemed never. So what did that mean? That she would never get to know someone interesting again, or that she should take the time to anyway? No matter what the answer was she knew she wouldn't be getting to know the informant. Miranda would sooner choke on her omni-tool than befriend a crew member. She chuckled to at the thought of it.

"What?" Miranda turned to look at her quizzically.

"What? Oh…nothing…" How was she going to explain that one without making it sound as if she wanted the informant to choke on something?

"It sure didn't sound like nothing." Miranda said matter-of-factly in her Australian accent.

"I was just thinking about…a memory." Rue lied.

Miranda smiled. "You seem to have many that makes you do that."

"Do what?"

Miranda grinned as the elevator doors slid open. "Make me smile." And with that she walked ahead of her to the landing joining up with the rest of the crew leaving the commander to follow her with a confused look.

~•~

"Shepard?" The tall dark-haired man said in disbelief as his hands clasped her arms.

"That would be me Alenko, surely you didn't hit your head  _that_ hard so that you don't remember your old comrade in arms?" The commander winked to the handsome soldier greeting her with a shocked expression on his face.

They had arrived at Horizion finding the colony as hastily abandoned as the other colonies. Only this time the Collectors were still abducting the colonist when their small company landed. The huge Collector ship hovered like a giant bulk in the sky. Shepard had ordered the two teams to search for any survivors. She always did that. Then they had split up, Shepard leading the first team, Garrus the other, their armour upgrades shielding them from the Seeker swarms deceitful stings. They had battled their way to the Alliance defence system, shooting Husk and Scions for all they were worth, and now the whole team loomed behind Shepard as they waited for the pick up.

Miranda stared at the fallen Praetorian. It had been such a nuisance to take down. Shepard had yelled every possible profanity while working to bring it down. Now she stood tired, but still grinning in front of her old crew member. Studying them the informant found herself wondering if there had ever been anything between the two of them. They seemed closer than regular team mates. She scowled. Really? Shepard was into that? She would have thought she wasn't since she had been with that Asari… She knew Asari people were technically not women, they just happened to look like it, and be referred to as it. She snorted. The man's gentle eyes turned towards her as she snorted and he scowled, suddenly looking angry as his eyes turned cold and hard.

"I heard rumours you were alive Shepard…but I didn't believe it. I thought they must be wrong. You've been gone for two years and you turn up with these folks?" He nodded towards the informant and Jacob. Miranda grimaced. Why was this always the response they got? Could people not see the good they did? They worked to ensure humans future in the galaxy. They worked tirelessly for their safety, yet these poncy Alliance people always saw them as some sort of extremists.

Shepard caught his gaze looking slightly ashamed. Was she really ashamed to be associated with them?

"I don't work for Cerberus. They're helping me fight the Reapers." She said quietly.

She was ashamed to be associated with them! Miranda felt anger and disappointment swirl to life inside her.

"I was hoping I wouldn't find you with them." He shook his head.

"What is that supposed to mean? You were looking for me?" Shepard folded her arms like she always did when she was getting angry. Miranda knew this little manner by now, she had seen Shepard do the same thing several times onboard the Normandy.

"We…suspected you were alive, rumour has it you blew up the Purgatory. The council feared you might have gone rogue working with..." He looked up glaring angrily at Miranda. " _Them_."

"That explains what you're doing here…but Kaidan, you  _know_ me. I would never do anything that would jeopardize the galaxy's welfare. You know I'd only work with Cerberus as a last resort. The Alliance declared me  _dead_."

"And you were!"

"Kaidan, please…come with me, it could be like the old days."

"Yeah, like when Ashley died."

Miranda's eyes snapped towards Shepard's face. The hurt and shame washed over the commander's face, if only fleetingly. So some things did unhinge the stoic soldier. Shepard bit her lip staring intently at her former crew member. He waved his hand dismissively at Shepard.

"Ashley died for this? You betrayed us all. No, Shepard. I will never come with you again when you're with Cerberus. I'm an Alliance soldier and the way I see it, my friend Shepard died in that explosion two years ago."

The commander's jaws clenched, thought the rest of her face and voice stayed calm. "If that is how you see it Kaidan. I'm sorry." She said flatly.

"So am I." He replied disapprovingly before turning around. Shepard stood watching him go, her gaze following his frame until they could no longer see the lieutenant.

The group stood quietly behind her, until she turned around looking as calm and collected as ever, stern, green eyes observing them.

"You all did really well. Now let's get back to the Normandy."

They all nodded heading out for the pick up spot. Miranda pulled to a stop by Shepard.

"Are you ok?"

"Of course I am." Miranda could see she was not. She didn't smile like she used to. Shepard might have seen more than any of them together. She might have died and come back again. Losing friends, lovers, even a few teeth that had been replaced, but if it was one thing she hadn't lost it was her childish, big smile and gleeful laughter. Looking at the commander where she stood now she saw someone blaming herself once again for a failure that wasn't hers.

"It wasn't your fault." She tried to comfort the commander.

"It was. It was my call, and I would do it again to save all those people, and so would Ashley…" Shepard answered as she started the slow walk to the pick up point.

~•~

The night seemed too long where she sat in front of the flickering screen. She moved the cursor back and forth, clicking every here and there in lack of better things to do. Miranda would probably tell her to finish one of those late reports, but her mind wasn't working as it should.

Seeing Kaidan had been wonderful, and for a second she had this crazy idea that she could actually bring the old team together, but the Illusive Man had been right. Two years had passed and everyone had moved on with their lives. They had new responsibilities, new missions, new priorities, and new lovers…her thoughts briefly touched at the Asari she had shared her bed with before dying. She huffed in annoyance at the thought of someone else sharing Liara's bed. If Kaidan knew she was alive then surely Liara must know it as well. She did after all work for the Shadow Broker as an informant, what good would she be if she didn't know this sort of information? So she really had moved on…why else hadn't she contacted her? Letting the cursor rest she wondered if the Asari ever thought of her? Did she ever cross her mind? Just like the Asari did hers.

Resting her aching head into her hands she growled in frustration. The head ache had come back the moment they set foot on the Normandy again.  _This cabin is too quiet_! She thought irritably turning to watch the clock on the opposite wall. Two o'clock in the morning. Getting up she pulled on the vintage All Stars she had found in a shop at the Citadel. No one was bound to be hanging out in the kitchen at this time so why bother with the fancy uniform she wore during the day? Her white tank top and the baggy sports pants would have to do.

Shuffling around the kitchen preparing her coffee she heard something move behind her back.

"That's an interesting look." The informant joked.

Turning around she grinned. "I thought I was the only one raiding the kitchen at this hour. I didn't know there was a dress code."

Miranda smiled as she passed her grabbing a mug. "It's just different to see you so casual."

"Yeah well, I wish I could say the same." Rue muttered watching the informant move about in her cat suit.

Miranda chuckled, pouring the sugary flakes into a bowl filled with milk before turning towards her. Rue narrowed her eyes at the informant who seemed to be observing her intently where she stood eating her midnight snack.

"So I guess I'm not the only one who can't sleep."

"This ship never sleeps, Shepard." Miranda said before walking back to her office, throwing the commander one last look before turning the corner a sly smile playing in her lips as she spoke softly. "And if you know where to look, you can see my one and only tattoo."

Rue chortled before sitting down at the large table in the dining area. Miranda was teasing her, but did she really mean any of it? Drinking her coffee slowly she remembered how quiet the old Normandy had been, not even half as many crew members working on her as there were on this ship. Looking around the kitchen area she had to admit they had done a damn good job at upgrading this ship. Not only was it exactly the same as SSV Normandy, it was even better with all new upgrades and the size of it was like nothing she had ever seen before for a ship like this. She closed her eyes remaining seated for a long time before she got back up again filling her mug with water. The headache just wouldn't go away. Sighing she walked back to her quarters feeling the head ache pound unpleasantly inside her head.

Groaning she placed her mug of water on her desk, rubbing her temples softly. The headaches were getting worse and it seemed it had increased since they got back from Horizon. Kaidan Alenko's face flashed before her. She saw the disappointment in his eyes, and his chastising voice calling her a traitor sill echoed in her head. She saw what he was thinking.  _Ashley died for this?_ A wave of pain washed over her and she gripped her desk for support. She'd betrayed them all…Ashley's face danced before her eyes, a pained expression on her face.  _You killed me. Left me to die. Your family, your entire colony._ This  _is what we all died for? A_ traitor _. You never saved us, you never saved anyone._

"No. I'm not…"

_YOU KILLED US ALL!_

"NO!" She screamed as picked up the mug throwing it forcefully across the room. It crashed against the wall with an ear shattering clatter. Rage and frustration surged through her, thousand of images suddenly flashing before her eyes. They were all jumbled and mixed up, her head burning with pain. Clasping her head she fell to her knees, jaws clenched in agony.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	6. The Ice Queen

_I remember the terror I felt at the prospect of talking to this fascinating woman. I was never good at communicating with others. That's why I didn't really have any friends. It wasn't just that. I put all my time into my work. There wasn't anytime for love. I was content until Rue came along._

 *** 

"DIRECTOR." EDI'S VOICE WOKE MIRANDA up and she sat up slowly, still dazed with sleep.

"EDI? What is it?"

"Shepard's memory is suffering severe overload. She will enter catatonic lockdown if it is not stopped immediately."

Tossing her bedcovers aside the Lazarus Project's director was suddenly wide awake as she flew out from her bed, grabbing the grey robe as she bolted towards the door.

"Call Dr Chakwas, NOW!" She ordered as she sprinted down the corridor, her grey silk robe billowing in the air behind her. Turning the corner she stumbled into the elevator.

"What the hell did you do Wilson?" This was not supposed to happen. Shepard should already have regained all her memories. This could only happen if someone had programmed the specific memories to be locked up until they were triggered by something at a later point. It was an experimental technique which had been used as a way to depose of Cerberus' assassins when Cerberus had first started, although unlike the control chip this method never got the clearance to be used. But someone must have programmed Shepard's mind for a catatonic lockdown and Miranda found it hard to believe it could be anyone else but Wilson who had tried to kill both herself and Shepard back at the lab. Not only that, Wilson had been arguing the benefits of that particular method and was well-read on the topic.

Swiping her identity card at Shepard's door the commander's doors slid open and she hurried into the Captain's cabin. Shepard lay curled up on the floor, head clasped desperately in her hands. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she tried breathing through the excruciating pain. The informant had read about this. It was described as having long needles pierce your brain before slowly ripping it out. She rushed up to Shepard falling to her knees, grabbing the commander's face in her hands.

"Commander." She said once, forcefully, trying to get the other woman's attention.

"Commander look at me." She demanded again. The commander didn't respond, but seemed to curl up even more.

"Don't Commander, it will just hurt more." She tried to reason with Shepard. The doors opened behind her back and a newly wake Chakwas rushed into the room.

"This must have been cause by the events at Horizon." The grey-haired woman noted as she stooped by the commander feeling her forehead. Forcing the commander's eyes open she examined her pupils. "Her pupils are extremely dilated. She must regain control of her mind. Try to calm her down."

"Sedatives?"

"No, too dangerous at this stage. It could force the lockdown." Chakwas said looking disturbed.

"Director, the Commander's cerebellum is taking severe damage. If the lockdown is not halted the injuries will be permanent." EDI's voice informed them.

" _Commander_." Miranda tried, her voice rising in desperation. She had brought Shepard back to life, she took an extreme risk back at the research lab waking Shepard up too early, she wasn't about to lose her now to some catatonic lockdown.

Shepard's body started shaking, her breathing becoming more restrained.

"She can't breathe!" The informant exclaimed before grabbing the commander, pulling her into her arms as Chakwas reached for her medical kit pulling out a needle.

"Rue. Rue  _please_." Miranda whispered. "Rue come back to me. Just focus on my voice."

The commander seemed to breathe again, small ragged gasps. Miranda felt Shepard's skin burn against her arm as she held her close. "Rue, please come back, damn it, the galaxy needs you.  _I_ need you. You said you couldn't to this without me, well I can't do this without you either."

The shaking stopped, her breathing slowing, her body relaxing in Miranda's arms.

"Commander Shepard's condition has stabilized. Initial danger has passed." EDI reported as Chakwas carefully injected her with the sedative.

"This should help a little."

Miranda released a sigh in relief as she pressed her lips against Shepard's blood red hair, closing her eyes. "It's alright Shep. It's ok." She wasn't sure whom she was trying to calm down any more, herself or the commander.

"Miranda?" Rue stirred in her arms.

"Ssh…it's ok. Don't try to move."

"Ok." Rue muttered before she fell into a restless sleep.

~•~

"Ugh." Rue's eyes fluttered to life, her head feeling like she had taken Miranda's suggestion on that R and R back on Omega. Her mouth was dry and her head felt heavy as if filled with cotton, or maybe bricks. Groaning she rolled over and bumped into something next to her. Looking she saw the informant who lay curled up on top of her cover at the edge of the bed wrapped in her silk robe.

"What the…" Rue scratched her head sitting up wondering how much of that R and R she had had before remembering last night's event. Looking over at the informant she felt stupid. What on earth had happened? One minute she was running through the day's event in her head, the next she laid curled up crying like a baby on the floor, her whole body trembling in pain. She blushed slightly in embarrassment. Swallowing thickly she remembered something else from the night before and she wondered if she perhaps had imagined it. Looking over at the informant she saw Miranda's chest rising and falling slowly, eyes fluttering behind soft eyelids. She looked different, not as dark and on guard. Her long legs were well-toned, and Rue felt a pang of guilt as she admired what she saw. This was inappropriate. Slipping out of the bed silently she put the cover on the sleeping informant, smiling as she moved towards her desk, careful not to awaken her. Miranda worked hard, harder than most of them, sitting behind her desk until the early hours, moving about the Normandy to make sure things were running smoothly, so Rue figured the informant needed all the sleep she could get. Rue suspected Miranda had stayed in her room to keep a watchful eye on her and falling asleep had been the last thing she wanted to do, especially in the captain's cabin. The informant knew full-well, as did Rue, the gossip something like this could start. Rue also knew Miranda wasn't like… _that_. Didn't Jacob say they used to be an item? Not that she cared…

Deciding that it was too early to be awake without caffeine in her veins she walked over to the nifty little coffee machine she had bought at Omega before they left. The coffee it made wasn't as nice as Mess Sergeant Gardner made it, but it would have to do for now, besides she couldn't be bothered squeezing into her uniform just yet. Sitting down in her leather chair she sipped on her coffee as she eyed her sleeping Second in Command. Watching her she wondered why so many referred to her as a bitch. Wilson's 'Icequeen' comment she could understand, but bitch? From experience Miranda was far from a bitch. Focused – yes. Bitch – not so much. Maybe not a people person, but that still didn't make her a bitch.

Lindsay Coleman. Now  _that_ was a real bitch. She had tormented Rue when she first arrived to the Alliance base, scrawny and gangly. Dirty from her brawl with the Batarians before the Alliance troop had found her. Lindsay had been everyone's nemesis at N7's Special Forces program, making everyone's life as miserable as she possibly could. Lindsay was book smart and deviously manipulative, but she wasn't a fighter, not like Rue. Coleman would use her talents to belittle others, suppress them with her arrogant and malicious attitude.  _And that is probably why she's head of the Alliance military's Educational Board._ Rue thought to herself huffing at the thought of Lieutenant Coleman sitting there behind the Educational Board's oval desk smiling her self-satisfied smirk.

Miranda wasn't like that. She made difficult decisions very few people had to make, sometimes endangering her subordinates' lives, and she worked for an organisation which Rue regarded with suspicion, but she did it for the right reasons, she did it for an idealistic goal and Rue had seen her defend Cerberus who clearly had her trust. She was fiercely loyal to what she believed in. The informant had a darker side as well, which surfaced every now and then. The dark side that kept telling the informant she wasn't good enough. Insecurity, and anger, sometimes resentment and bitterness were displayed in the informant. Funny, how someone like Miranda would be insecure. Although if there was one thing Rue knew about people – and knowing people was what she did best second to delivering headshots from hell, it was that no matter who one was you would always inhabit some sense of insecurity. Big, small, fat, thin, ugly, stunning, one of these was always accompanied with doubt in oneself. Does he want me because of my looks? Am I too fat to wear this shirt? Am I too nice? Too bold? The list could be made long. Still she hadn't expected it when she first met the informant.

Miranda was beyond beautiful and well-aware of it. She had the dark, raven-hair and the milky skin, always wearing subtle make up appearing to have the perfect complexion by nature. She moved with an arrogant authority, head held high, icy eyes gazing down on men who in height towered her, this made her even more sensual, and when she walked into a room she was the centre of attention, all heads turning her way.

The informant stirred to life and Rue grabbed a mug of coffee before approaching. Sitting down in the chair next to the bed she grinned as Miranda glanced about the room in bewilderment. Realizing where she was she sat up quickly, pulling her robs close. Rue held out the mug to Miranda who took it staring awkwardly at her in silence.

"I know this isn't what people usually ask someone like you…but what are you doing in my bed?" Rue said lightly.

"Someone like me?" Miranda smiled in amusement.

"Well, someone who's genetically modified to be beau…" Rue fell silent as Miranda quirked her eyebrow smiling into her mug. "'…to be you." Rue smiled impishly.

The informant chuckled before turning serious. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm just fine." Rue said reassuringly.

"Yes, I've heard that before…" Getting up from the bed Miranda leant over to where Shepard was sitting, grabbing her face gently between her hands.

"Miranda…?"

"Relax, I'm just making sure… no, Shepard look at me." Miranda ordered as Shepard tried to squirm out of her grip. Miranda's blue eyes locked with her own and Rue felt something stir inside her as the informant stared into her eyes with a distant thoughtful gaze.

"Uhh…"

Rue's confused mumble seemed to snap Miranda back to reality and she laughed a little nervously as she let go of the Rue's face. "Yes, well you seem to be just fine, but I think we should run some tests at the lab with Mordin and Dr Chakwas before our next mission."

Rue chuckled. "I guess this time a simple 'trust me' won't do?"

"No it  _won't_." Miranda answered dryly as she moved towards the door.

"I…I have a uniform in case you don't want the others to see you…in your sleeping clothes."

"That would be very nice of you." Miranda said sounding a little surprised.

Rue got up and walked over to her armour locker grabbing her Cerberus uniform handing it over to the informant. "The bathroom is just over there."

She nodded and disappeared into the bathroom before emerging minutes later wearing Rue's uniform. Rue frowned, she didn't know how Miranda did it, but it seemed even the slightly too big uniform fit her just as perfectly as the cat suit she usually wore.

"Thanks Shepard. I'll have it washed and returned to you as soon as I get back."

"Don't worry about it, just glad I could help."

"Oh, and I'm sorry I fell asleep in your bed, I do realize the impropriety of it, but I assure you I meant to keep watch on you, but accidentally…"

"Miranda. It's fine. Honestly, I could think of worse things to wake up to." Rue said in her calm voice smiling reassuringly. Miranda nodded before moving to leave as Rue turned her back walking over to her desk.

Feeling the informant's eyes on her back she turned around to see Miranda observe her.

"What?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"I spent the last two years putting you back together. I've read every single file there is to find about you. I know the precise percentage of bionics in your body, I even know the exact measurements of your heart, yet…I know nothing about you." The informant said where she stood.

Rue was slightly taken aback by Miranda's statement. She had not expected it. She'd expected Miranda to simply say she was evaluating her posture or god knows what it was the informant evaluated, or anything. Anything but that.

"I…there's really not a lot to know. It's all in the files."

Miranda's expression softened. "No. It isn't." She said quietly before leaving the Captain's cabin, returning to her office.

~•~

"Damn it!" Miranda banged her fist into the solid desk, leaning into it before pushing away from the desk pacing around her cabin.

What was happening to her? This was a disaster! She already knew what it was, but she refused to give into it. She  _didn't do_ infatuation. She followed procedure, stuck to the mission.  _This_  – this was not following procedure. This was involving her emotions and she didn't do that – thus the nickname Ice queen. And even if she did it she most certainly never showed it. With Shepard it seemed she had done everything, but to stick to her own procedure and values. Shepard was her commander, Normandy's captain. They were on a suicide mission. There was no time for this sort of distraction!

She stopped in her tracks. Whatever this thing, this  _feeling_ was, it had to stop. It had snuck upon her and she had been so unfocused she hadn't even noticed. She chided herself. Shepard got under her skin. Miranda had no idea how she did it, but she was there with her charming smile and arrogant attitude, questioning her, challenging her. It infuriated the informant and intrigued her at the same time. And Shepard was reckless! She wasn't the type you  _liked_. Shepard was the type you avoided, and for good reason and either way, she –Miranda Lawson– did  _not_ do… anything that had to do with whatever this was.

Falling asleep in the commander's bed had been nothing, a simple mistake she couldn't have cared less had it been anyone else, but for a reason she rather not think of, falling asleep in Shepard's bed had been a grave mistake.

"Stop thinking about it!" She growled to herself as she sat down on her own bed, hands on her hips, face screwed up into a scowl.

She let herself be relaxed in Shepard's presence just as she had only moments ago when evaluating Shepard's condition. Miranda had examined the commander as best she could, her eyes looked normal, the scars on her face were healing quite well, and the tissue seemed to be coping well. She had studied her face, her eyes returning to Rue's locking with them. Rue had the rarest, green eyes she had seen. They almost seemed to penetrate her with their lazy, yet calculating gaze. She had tried to mask her surprise at the tingle of interest she had felt as she stared into the commander's eyes. And then Rue had done it. Shown her caring considerate side and the words had just slipped across the informant's lips before she could think any better of it.

Groaning as she lay on to her back she covered her face in frustration with her hands before sighing deeply. Regardless of what she felt or didn't feel, Shepard didn't feel the same…she was in love with the Asari –Liara. Miranda had seen the framed photograph on the commander's desk in her office next to her private computer. She had seen and felt the emotions that had connected them when Liara shared her memories in the meld with Miranda so that the Lazarus Project could restore all Shepard's memories completely intact, with no alterations. There was no room for any romantic interest in Shepard's life. To make matters worse she was sure the crew would be gossiping about why they had seen her in Shepard's uniform coming from the Captain's cabin so early in the morning. Exhaling sharply she got off her bed walking to her shower. No matter what she was feeling, it was back to work in an hour and that meant she had to be the normal focused Miranda they all knew –the Ice Queen.

Catching a glimpse of her reflection as she passed the mirror she didn't see what the others saw. The only thing she saw was a woman who had no desire to be the Ice Queen today. In fact, it would be nice to be just Miranda just as she was in Rue's presence. She rolled her eyes at herself. She was behaving like a teenage high school girl. This was ridiculous and it would stop this instant.

"You're  _not_ interested in the Commander." She said, nodding to her reflection as if to confirm it before stepping into the hot shower.

~•~

Rue was wearing her Cerberus casual uniform matching the rest of Normandy's crew as she stepped out from the elevator, giving a quick wave and smile to the sweet yeoman. This suit was much more comfortable and reminded her of what she used to wear on the old Normandy, but her other uniform however was of a more authoritarian character and gave the crew members a sense of duty towards her so she had decided to keep it on regardless of whether she liked it or not. It was all part of her role as the Normandy's captain, the leader of the ship. The uniform was a sign of competence and a marker of respect. But the uniform was just part of it, she had to adjust her voice when talking, choose her words carefully, keep her posture straight and proud to show she would never waver, or falter, never fail her crew. This made giving orders easier, even if they were not always the most pleasant orders. It kept morale up and crew members loyal.

With the core members of her unit it was slightly different. She needed them to be personal, and in return she had to be personal with them. It was a fine line to draw and she always had to assess the moment when choosing to enter that stage of their relationship. Entering the com room seeing the informant she silently wondered whether that point had come in regards to their relationship. Garrus was already loyal to her, and so was Joker which showed in how they interacted with each other. They only called her Commander when others were around, but never when it was just the three of them. Jacob was a little more difficult to get to know, especially since he wasn't a man of many words. Jack, her eyes fell on the heavily tattooed woman, now that would be an interesting case. Rue suspected that to gain Jack's loyalty one had to beat it into her, but being the commander that wasn't really an option. She'd have to take things extremely slow with Jack. Grunt. Well, all she would have to do was to try and help him figure out his place and things would work out –she hoped. Otherwise it wasn't anything her gun couldn't handle.

Miranda and Jacob were overlooking the artificial map of their next destination, the Jarrahe Station, discussing with Garrus which entries would be best to use. Rue eyed the map with the small markers. Walking up to the informant who stood at the navigation point of the map, stopping behind her Rue pointed to an unmarked area of the map, her chest and arm rubbing against the informant as she did so.

"That one. It's the most subtle one and won't be heavily guarded –if guarded at all." She swiped with her hand in the air and the map rotated. "Let's send our second unit that way for distraction. First team will slip into the station and find out anything of valuable information."

"What about the west entrance?" Garrus asked pointing towards a small dot on the map.

"Too small I reckon." Jacob cut in.

"I agree. It's settled then." Concentrating Rue hadn't noticed how close she was standing to the informant who had turned her face to look at her with a half-annoyed, half-embarrassed look upon her face.

"Oh." Rue took a step backwards giving her an apologetic nod before putting in the coordinates into the small navigator. "Joker, sending the coordinates now."

"Got it Commander. We'll be touching ground in forty minutes." Joker's voice instructed them.

"Good job Joker. Now, anyone have any questions, otherwise I suggest you get ready." Rue looked at the crew members to make sure no one was sitting on a question not wanting to ask it. She saw the flash of a grin on Jack's face and before she could say anything the convict hopped off the ledge she'd been sitting on.

"Yeah, how about telling us why little Ms Cheerleader was sneaking out from your room this morning."

Garrus scratched the back of his head trying to melt into the wall. If Rue and Jack got into a brawl he had no intention of hanging around. Grunt did what he did best and grunted uninterested whereas Mordin wrung his hands anxiously. She could feel Jacob's eyes burn at the side of her face as she calmly spoke.

"She was simply evaluating my biotics for this mission."

"So  _that's_ why she wore your uniform when she left?" Jack said as she strode up to Rue. "I bet she was a real good fuck."

Rue groaned inwardly wishing she could throw her fist into Jack's face, but knew it would only make matters worse and undermine her credibility.

"Jack. I don't care for you little games, I've got a galaxy to save, now you cut the crap or I'll see to it that we drop you off at the next place we stop at – which is the abandoned Jarrahe Station."

"Bullshit Shepard! Cerberus paid a fortune to get me."

"Not even a third of what they paid for me." Rue answered dryly. Jack balled her fists, glaring angrily at Rue before leaving the com room. Turning to the rest of the crew Rue quirked her eyebrow in annoyance, folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, what are you all waiting for?"

The rest of the crew along with Miranda piled out from the com room leaving Rue to stare at the map. Releasing a sigh she leant into the square map station. She was already having trouble gaining Jacob's trust and now Jack had probably made it near impossible for her. She shrugged. Wasn't much she could do about it right now. They were heading into an unknown territory and she had to focus on the mission.

Walking out from the com room she saw the informant waiting for her.

"Shepard, I think it would be best, considering the circumstances if you put me in a separate group from you." Miranda said in her business-like tone.

"Isn't that a bit drastic?"

"I think it would emphasis that there is  _nothing_ going on between the two of us."

"And who said there was?" Rue said discontent.

"From now on I think it's best if we just stick to procedure and to the mission. Come see me if you need help with reports or the mission, but…" Miranda hesitated before continuing. "But our private conversations should be kept to a limit."

Rue stared at Miranda.  _One_  remark and the informant runs into hiding, tail between her legs? Why would anyone even consider the possibility of anything going on between them? Besides wasn't she already occupied with being ice-cold and detached from the rest of the world? Rue felt her temper rising.

"Fine. As you wish." She said, her jaws clenching in anger before she walked past Miranda. If that was how the informant wanted it then so be it. She didn't have time for this sort of drama anyway. It was better this way. Right? Walking towards the Galaxy map her eyes fell on the ginger yeoman who turned to look at her before smiling shyly turning away.  _Much better this way_.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

 


	7. Playing By The Rules

_For a long time I tried to resist her. She was not what I was used to, yet everything I ever wanted._ _I tried to be reasonable, tried to remember what we were up against, but in her presence I couldn't think clearly._

_***_  

"So tell me Shep,  _why did_ Miranda leave your cabin wearing your uniform?" Joker asked where he sat opposite Rue in the crew quarter's mess. They had returned safely from the abandoned Jarrahe Station, a couple of thousand credits richer and with a nice batch of Platinum for Normandy's upgrades.

"If I told you -I'd have to kill you." She answered dryly picking at her food with her fork. There was nothing wrong with the food. Mess Sergeant Gardner had a way of turning the blandest ingredients into the most spectacular dish, but Rue just didn't feel like eating. Rue had obliged to Miranda's wishes of not being in the same unit as her and limited their conversations to idle talk about the mission and nothing else. To say she felt annoyed was an understatement. She leant back into her chair. She couldn't see why this would bother her in the first place anyway. She frowned. Miranda had gone from opening up to her, letting Rue scrape at the top layer of who she was, then after Jack's little display in the Com room she'd once again distanced herself from the rest of the group. Rue was more annoyed with herself than with Miranda. What did she expect? She'd enjoyed the subtle pace their friendship had taken and the way the informant sometimes looked at her, but it was foolish trying to bond with someone as unearthly as Miranda. She snorted at the expression before looking up seeing Joker grinning at her.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh nothing," he said dismissively in that voice he knew would make Rue ridiculously curious.

"Did I ever mention I  _died_  saving your ass? Least you could do is to tell me," Rue said with a smirk on her face as she put the fork in her mouth.

"Hey, wait a minute! That's not fair." 

"I know. I always imagined sacrificing myself for the greater good or at least a really pretty girl. But a lazy brittle bone…" She huffed in disapproval.

"Oh my god, Rue, you're just as funny as EDI. Oh, wait, that's probably because you were created by the same company."

"See, I don't even get to die in peace. Little brittle boy." She teased as Joker feigned a most believable fake crying. Patting his arm Rue withdrew her hand quickly.

"Oh my god, I didn't break anything?"

"Only my heart," Joker said forlornly causing Rue to laugh.

"It's a good thing I know this is how the two of you interact with each other, otherwise I would have been slightly worried," Kelly Chambers' voice rang sweetly from behind them jolting them both upright.

Rue cleared her throat turning serious again trying to think of something to say that would make her sound as if she wasn't making inappropriate academy jokes  with her helmsman.

"Chambers, you got any reports for me?"

Kelly glanced down at her tray. "No…but I've got a tray with food, and I've been told I'm really nice company," she replied winking.

"Well, you got the Commander all to yourself. I'm off to bicker with the AI from hell." Joker sighed before stalking off towards the elevator shooting Rue a gleeful look then looking at Kelly, whistling a tune as he left.

Kelly quirked her eyebrow. "All to myself, aren't I the lucky girl?"

Rue chuckled following the yeoman with her eyes as she sat down. Kelly Chambers was the Cerberus yeoman who in secret evaluated everyone's psychological health. Her face was slightly square with soft lines, she had big green eyes full of life and passion, and she always wore a big smile on her plump lips. Kelly always spoke so cheerfully sounding as if nothing could possibly ruin her day or when a new member arrived she spoke with such innocent concern and care Rue thought Kelly surely must have been a lab creation like herself, just made from sugar and cake. Although admittedly Rue liked this about the ginger yeoman, whenever she spoke to Kelly she felt as if things weren't actually that bad.

"I don't know. Are you?" Rue asked allowing her voice to drop to her lower register.

Kelly narrowed her eyes, still smiling as she tilted her head. "So tell me, Commander, what would you say if I said I wasn't, but I'd like to be?"

Rue leaned forward locking eyes with the sweet yeoman. "Well, we can't really have that now, can we?"

"No, I don't think we can." Kelly said biting her bottom lip in a seductive smile, her emerald eyes twinkling. "You know what they say about crew morale Commander, don't you?" She added.

"I do, but I could need some pointers." Rue hinted.

"How about I give you some? Strictly as your yeoman of course." Kelly teased.

"So are you always this helpful with people you meet?" 

"Only with the special ones." Kelly winked looking sly.

"You have many of those?"

"A whole squad."

"A  _whole_ squad?" Rue raised her eyebrow.

"Yes, people swarm around me like criminals to Omega."

"I have no doubt about that." Rue agreed causing Kelly to giggle sweetly. "So what else don't I know about you?"

"I think that would be too much to tell you over lunch, but I grew up on earth and was handpicked by the Illusive Man for this mission, and I have this ridiculous fascination with spaceship modelling."

"What? Do my ears deceive me? Did a pretty girl just say she likes spaceship modelling?" Rue interrupted, her face suddenly childishly curious.

"Ah, so you think I'm pretty, do you?" Kelly smiled, glowing slightly.

"Heh..." Rue chuckled. "You are, but you also mentioned spaceship modelling."

A blush worked itself on to the yeoman's cheeks. "I know, not the coolest trait, but I grew up with my brother and our cousin -Robert, an obnoxious older boy, and the only time we didn't fight was when my day brought home a new model to build."

"I use to build them together with my father before he died, and it kind of stuck." Rue said remembering the excitement every time her father found a new model for them to start building together.

"It's just so theraputical," Kelly said almost a little surprised.

"So  _that's_  what you do to stay so calm all the time?"

"No for that I do something completely else, but it's much more fun with someone else."

She was cheeky this Kelly, and Rue found she liked the girl's appreciation. Not a lot of the crew men had the guts to be as forthright as Kelly and it was refreshing to see.

"What's the most advanced thing you've built?"

Kelly's eyes shone with excitement as she pondered the question for a while. "Without doubt -The Nimbus 2000."

"That _is_ impressive." Rue agreed before setting down the glass she'd been drinking from. "Come on I've got something to show you," She said standing up.

Looking a little surprised the yeoman smiled before pushing out from the table. "Lead the way Commander."

"Commander, is it now, huh?" Rue snorted, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth earning herself a giggle from the yeoman.

"Excuse me Commander." Rue recognized the informant's voice where they stood waiting for the elevator. Turning around she saw Miranda walk up to them looking slightly fidgety.

"Shepard."

"Lawson?"

"You've got an appointment with me in five minutes and I really need you to finish those reports."

"You really need them now? I was kind of..." She gestured towards Kelly. "Busy."

Annoyance flashed in the informant's eyes. "Busy?"

Rue opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the yeoman.

"It's alright Commander, I'm sure you've got lots to do, perhaps another time?"

Rue nodded apologetically. "Dinner later tonight?"

"Dinner sounds nice. I'll see you later then." Kelly smiled before entering the elevator, giving a small wave as the doors shut.

Turning to the informant she crossed her arms. "So what's so important about this appointment?"

"You should come to my office and see the results of the tests Mordin ran on you." Miranda answered flatly as she turned to walk back towards her office.

~•~

" _This_  is what's so important?" Rue asked where she sat in Miranda's office staring at the x-ray scans of her brain. It looked just like it had all the other times in life when she'd been through a scan.

"Yes Shepard! Can't you see?" The informant asked in annoyance pointing at what looked like the back of Rue's brain. "This area has grown a substantially larger amount of cells than the average human brain."

"Fascinating." Rue said dryly.

"Shepard." Miranda gave her a sharp look. "This means you'll have a far more advanced brain than even geniuses."

"That's really awesome Lawson. I'm glad that your project turned out well. Now if you'll excuse me I've got reports to write." She replied bitterly and pushed to her feet. Why was it that the only time Miranda seemed eager to talk to her was when she wanted to evaluate Rue as her subject?

"Do you need help with those?"

"What?"

"Your reports...do you want some help writing them? I could help you." Miranda offered, her voice softening.

Rue squinted her eyes in bewilderment. One minute the informant hardly wanted them to converse outside the frames of the mission and had kept her distance from Rue barely even looking at her. And suddenly she was being that considerate Miranda Rue had seen during her overload.

"What?" Miranda asked looking suspicious.

"Nothing, I was just thinking that...actually...I _could_ need some help."

"Good. Let's see what you've got so far."

"Mir...Lawson, they're in my room..."

"Well, you'd better get moving then if you want to be done before your dinner tonight then." The informant said before leaving her office.

Sighing heavily Rue shook her head in confusion.  _I guess reports are considered strictly work_.

~•~

Miranda walked silently next to the commander. She wasn't sure what had possessed her to interrupt Shepard and Kelly earlier in the manner she had. It was out of character and foolish. Shepard had honoured her wishes to stay as focused on the mission as possible without any distraction from their private lives. Still, when she saw Rue with Kelly it had annoyed her greatly. She saw the way Rue leaned forward making sure Kelly knew exactly what it was she wanted, and how Kelly had responded to her flirtations. Miranda had walked by their table at least three times to catch her attention. Shepard hadn't even noticed once. Shepard  _always_ noticed her. So she resorted to pull the work-card on Shepard.

She snorted. It hadn't been a complete lie that those reports were needed, they were, it just wasn't as urgent as she might have let on.

The heavy metal doors slid open as if they weighed no more than feathers, the familiars hissing sound reminding her of the bus she used to take to school back on earth. The room looked just like it had before, tidy and...bare. As she let her gaze sweep across the room Miranda noticed how the room seemed to lack something.

"Do you always keep your room so..."

"Tidied?" Rue filled in as she rummaged around one of her drawers.

"No, I was thinking more of the lack of things," Miranda said as her eyes fell on a pile of nicely stacked comics. The informant smiled as she let her fingers slip across the shiny cover.  _Vaulters Vigilance_. She remembered that comic, she used to read it all the time. The comic was centred on a young woman -Marley, an archaeology student who stumbles upon a rare object on one of her dig sites. Touching it she is teleported back in time, three days before the shooting of her parents. At that point she does not yet realize she has gained the ability to time vault, changing the course of time, stopping crimes, helping fate. But time vaulting isn't appreciated by everyone and Marley soon find herself hunted by both the government and a secret agency. Racing against time to uncover the truth about her parents' murder and stay alive Marley experiences great adventures, love, loss, happiness and joy.

"Ever read them?" The commander's voice jolted her back to reality.

"It was the one thing I had that my father didn't forbid me to do," she said as she eyed the detailed cover, remembering the loneliness she had felt when she was younger and that she sometimes still could feel. Her father hadn't allowed her to have any friends, or be part of the school play, or play the piano. There were a lot of things she had missed out, constantly pushed to be the best, to out-think everyone in her class, to finish with top grades. She had defied him though and gotten herself some friends she spent time with during school, and she did take part in the school play, practicing whenever he or his beady-eyed assistants weren't around.

"Your dad forbade you to do a lot of things?"

"He always tried to, but hardly succeeded." Miranda chuckled. "He was rich, influential, but rarely had time for his creation." She snorted before catching her tongue. Why was she telling Shepard this?

"That can't have been easy Lawson, growing up with an absentee father figure." The commander stated where she sat.

"Sometimes it wasn't so bad."

 _"Second best?_ Second best Miranda?  _I bought you the best education one could think of, I gave you the best genes. Genes some people could only dream of and you give me second best? This is_ not  _what I created you for."_ Most of the time she felt safer when her father wasn't around, and she felt less pressured to perform like some well-trained pet when he wasn't there. At the same time she longed for his approval, thrived for the rush when her father would appraise her for her achievements. It was a strange relationship, and as much as she thought of him as her father, she also thought of him as her creator. Parts of her had admired the mind behind what he had accomplished with her until the day she found out about Oriana. That day she realized the monster he was and she knew –she had to get out. Get them both out of there.

"Miranda? Are you alright?" Shepard's green eyes studied her with concern.

Miranda frowned. "Of course I am."  _What are you doing to me?_

"Are you looking for your reports?" Miranda asked pointing at the pile of dossiers to the commander's left at the sight of Shepard still searching her drawers for something.

Rue frowned before grinning charmingly. Could she stop doing that?

"Reports? No, but something to eat."

"What? But you just ate."

"Yes, but I eat when I get bored and this...well is going to be boring."

"Oh...thanks..." Miranda muttered.

"Not spending time with you." Rue smiled impishly and Miranda -much to her dismay- found herself grinning into the floor before walking up leaning against the desk next to Rue.

"Give it to me," she said holding out her hand.

"Give you  _what_?" Rue asked with a certain edge to her voice before she realized that she had.

 _The constant flirt_. Miranda rolled her eyes at the commander. "Your reports hand them over."

"Here you go, knock yourself out," Shepard said sarcastically.

"Wow, this is absolutely…" Miranda eyed through the dossiers. "Terrible, Rue."

Shepard looked op from her drawer at the sound of her name.

"Rue?" Green eyes sparkling with mischief.

 _You're losing control Miri._ "I meant Commander." She said quietly not taking her eyes off the dossiers.

"Mm-hm." Rue grunted before grabbing one of the dossiers. "Ugh, they do need proper revising, don't they?"

"They do." Miranda said pretending to read the dossier intently, as she studied the commander. Shepard was different from other soldiers. She wasn't as hardened and weathered and when she wore her own clothes she looked no older then twenty-five. She looked young where she sat and Miranda could almost imagine what Shepard had looked like as a young teenage girl. She wondered what she had been like though, before the Batarian raiders. How had it changed her?

Miranda's eyes followed the commander's profile, trailing along the nose bridge, across the petite-looking tip, the soft, slightly parted lips, down her chin till where jaw became neck. Strands of Rue's long, blood-red hair twisted and turned from her pony tail and it was a nice contrast to her pale skin.

Shepard was typing something, looking thoughtful and Miranda found herself wondering where Shepard had learnt to fight. Did it come naturally or had she learnt from someone in her family? It made the informant feel slightly bitter. Rue was skillful and talented, and fiercely brave. All that she had achieved she had done on her own, but Miranda…All her achievements had been bought by perfect genes. She hadn't learnt how to wield a gun and take a head shoot from yards away, her father had made sure it would already be programmed into her to do it.

"Can you please stop that," Rue said as she turned on her chair to face her.

"Excuse me?" Miranda snapped back to reality lifting her head to meet the commander's gaze.

"You've been staring at me for the past two hours, and whatever you're evaluating, could you please stop? It's kind of creeping me out."

Miranda laughed in spite of herself secretly relieved Shepard had no clue as to why she had been staring like a fool. Rue scrunched up her nose as she rolled up to Miranda in her chair taking a bite from the sugary pastry she held in her hand before adding it on the top of Miranda's dossiers..

"Take it. You seem to need it."

"It's sugar." Miranda noted her brows knitting together in a frown.

"Yes, it's sweet. Highly addictive, but you'll regret not trying it," Shepard said where she sat seizing her up.

Suddenly standing up Shepard loomed close to her as she picked up the pastry holding it in front of her face. "Come on Lawson. You know you want to."

 _Of course I want to!_  "Fine, but if I get fat…I'm blaming you." She muttered before taking a bite.  _What am I doing?_ The pastry was sweet like a heavenly delight and she closed her eyes momentarily letting the taste of the sweet pastry ensue her senses.

"I told you so." Rue murmured where she stood only inches away.

Biting her bottom lip Miranda let her eyes stay closed revelling in the closeness of the commander before she took a deep breath, opening them. They shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be here. She had set the rules and now she wasn't playing by them and Rue…she was so close, too close. Setting down the dossiers on the table she slowly eased away to the side from the commander.

"I…will finish these off in my office. You should get ready for your dinner."

Shepard cleared her throat before sitting down on her chair. "Ok, thank you Miranda."

Giving the commander a small nod she left her room as quickly as she could, not breathing until she stood on her own in the elevator again. What on earth was happening to her?

~•~

Her office was dark when she returned, nothing but the dull buzz from the hull sounding in her empty room. Putting down the dossiers she saw something flicker on her screen. One new message.  _Your gun has been sold_. She re-read the subject, her stomach churning in fear. They had found Oriana.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	8. Children Of The Heavenly Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, in my fiction Rue has never been to earth, because the N7 program is based on the Arctus Station which serves as the Alliance capital.

_I remember the first time she touched me, how the tips of her fingers burned on my skin, how it stirred my desires to life._ _I_ _t was the same thing with her eyes. Those green, emerald orbs would penetrate me and for a split second I felt naked in her presence._

 _***_  

THE MAN WAS AS STRIKING as he was arrogant. Ocean blue eyes staring coldly at the photos that lay spread out across his thick wooden desk. The office was large, but dimly lit, forest green carpet covering the floor. His black polished shoe gleamed on top of it as he clasped his hands together in front of him on the mahogany desk, lifting his gaze towards the large screen in front of him.

"Connect Mr. Harper." He commanded, pulling out one of the photos. The blue globe rotated fashionably on the large screen as it connected to the Galaxy Net.

"Larkin Hannoway." The silver-haired man greeted him politely as he spun in his chair facing his caller, letting the smoke seep from the corner of his mouth.

"Jack," the man said holding up the photo. He could see the man was less than pleased to see him. Larkin smirked. Always the touchy type. He thought to himself as he studied the man in front of him. It was obvious he did not want Larkin to know whatever it was he was doing, but frankly, Larkin couldn't care any less.

"Ah," the man said sucking in the smoke from his cigarette. "I was wondering when you would hear about that."

"Well, I've heard it. Now I want to know what  _you_ can do for me." He put down the photo on the desk letting his icy blue eyes pierce the Cerberus director.

Putting down his glowing cigarette Jack Harper sat up a little straighter. "What is it that you want?"

"I want  _her,_ " he said coldly, letting his index finger poke the photo on his desk demonstratively.

"I'm afraid I can't help you with that one Larkin," the other man answered as he picked up his cigarette again letting the glowing tip of it fall into the ashtray. "She is our most valuable asset."

"An asset you have only because of me. You let my daughter think I'm out of the picture and I pay you for that. Now I  _want_ that DNA and you will see to it that it's on my desk by Monday."

"Larkin, that is impossible. The Lazarus station was destroyed along with the lab that hosted the entire storage of the recent DNA we've collected. Including your daughter's might I add."

"Then get it from somewhere else." Larkin Hannoway's voice said coldly emphasizing every single word. "Oh, and Jack, 32.634...is a very simple coordinate to find." He said, sneering self-satisfied as he saw the man stand up from his chair before he broke the connection. He had Jack just where he wanted him.

Larkin Hannoway sneered. Jack had always been so easy to scare even when they were kids growing up together. Out of the two friends Larkin had always been the stronger one. Larkin was the one with money, the bedazzling smile, and charisma. Jack, on the other hand, had always been struggling in comparison. He was born into a wealthy family as well, but then the new relays opened and suddenly his father's services were no longer needed and Jack's family suddenly found themselves with more expenses than income. This was how Jack's obsession with preserving mankind from the alien threat had started. Larkin shook his head. He had indulged his friend at first though secretly dismissing the idea of a strong organization working for humans and unlike the Alliance didn't mind getting their hands a little dirty.

Moving towards the large estate windows gazing out upon the blood-red sky, the sun slowly settling spreading its soft shimmer across the swaying barley, he couldn't deny the things Cerberus had achieved over the years and Jack had grown into a man followed and admired by many humans. Larkin still knew how to unsettle the man though. Jack was foolish to think he wouldn't keep an eye on whoever was associated with  _his_ creation. He loosened his tie in satisfaction. Jack was scared enough of Larkin's power. The sample would arrive on Monday and he had much to prepare.

~•~

The Citadel looked as it always had with the exception of Cora's Den being gone. Apparently, Miranda didn't mind this at all. Anderson had grabbed Rue's hand fiercely almost pulling her into a hug when he saw her again.

"I'll be damned Skipper!" He laughed, studying her face. Rue had rolled her eyes at the nickname Ashley had given her during their adventures together on the old Normandy. It both made her smile, remembering the good old times, and throw a quick glance at Miranda. The informant had asked her what had triggered the overload, but for some unexplainable reason she didn't feel like sharing those memories. It would make her look weak and the informant might figure out her secret –that she was scared, so she had resigned to answer somewhat evasively. Nonetheless, she had wondered if Miranda could sense her tense involuntary where she stood.

Rue had -with Miranda's help- explained to Anderson how she had been revived and what they were trying to accomplish. He'd looked troubled, wearing the same concerned expression he had worn so many years before. He'd sighed resolutely explaining that the Council still didn't want to see what was right before their eyes, that to them Shepard was nothing but another specter gone rogue, joining up with the alien hostile organization Cerberus.

"I save their goddamn asses for this? I sacrificed peoples' life!" Rue had raged before the raven-haired informant had placed her hand on Rue's arm turning her raving and ranting into an annoyed mutter. This had caused Anderson to give Rue a strange, but amused look.

"I see someone has learned to tame the lioness with her sometimes insufferable habit of always speaking her mind." He joked before turning back to his desk. The hint of a smile creeping on to the informant's eyes did not escape the commander's emerald eyes.

"I had hoped it wasn't true, that you worked for Cerberus, but clearly they have the means to help you fight the Reapers whereas the Alliance have neither the resources nor the guts to do so. Just be careful out there. Now we shouldn't be seen more together, it might undermine my credibility with the council."

They had left him there and now they stood looking out over the grand Citadel, Rue leaning against the railing next to Miranda who seemed to throw nervous glances around her. Rue frowned. Something was bothering the informant, but this was neither the time nor the place to be asking her so she decided to ask Kelly if she had noticed anything different about Miranda. The rest of the crew was heading back for the Normandy while she and Miranda waited as engineers Donnelly and Daniels fetched the necessary upgrades for the Normandy.

Staring out at the cabs speeding past them and the high rising towers Rue became painfully aware of the informant eyeing her.

"Look, I know I said I'd have the reports done last night, but..."

"Let me guess you were  _busy_?" Miranda answered dryly.

Turning towards her Rue fired off a dazzling smile. "Why, Lawson one could think you're..."

"Well don't!" She bit off heatedly before turning her attention back to the Citadel's skyline.

Rue narrowed her eyes.

"Stop scowling at me." The informant muttered refusing to look at her.

"Fine, but I just…well, you seem slightly thrown."

"Did you know, the Citadel reminds me of home." Miranda was trying to change the subject and Rue obliged, nodding at the view.  _Home._ She tasted the word. It felt strange and unfamiliar somehow. Yes, Mindoir would be listed as her home planet in her files, and at one point in her life, it had been her home. She fidgeted in her heavy armour, her weapons strapped securely to her body like a second layer of skin. The planet she had called home, the house she had called safe, and the family she had called love, all of that had been erased in a matter of hours, her course of life altered for forever. She was supposed to have studied engineering to help her father running the upkeep on the colony, but instead, her whole family had been slain and she now carried all her personal belongings in her big military sack. Everything had changed, for good and bad. So where did that leave her now? She snorted, what did it matter anyway? Chances of coming back to something called home after this suicide mission was...slim. So why even think about it?  _Promise me._ Liara's voice rang in her head and she felt the dull ache of regrets beat a little faster.  _This is stupid, you can't change the past._ She glanced sideways at the informant.  _Well, maybe you could use it for future reference..._

"Where's home?"

Miranda laughed softly. "Sometimes I don't remember, but Sydney, Australia."

"Australia? What a strange name…" Rue mused. "Does it look anything like this?" She felt curious of this strange planet –earth. She was a human, yet, she had never been to earth, only seen pictures of it. It looked like any other planet, besides the fact that it was full of humans and no aliens. It was a strange thing, almost as if she didn't quite fit in anywhere. Not on Earth, not in space. Then again, fitting in was never something she did well anyway she thought as she waited for Miranda's answer.

"No, not really, Sydney looks a little like this, but the outskirts of Australia looks…different, beautiful." The informant seemed to drift off for a short moment until Rue broke the silence that had settled.

"So what do you think of the mission so far?"

Miranda looked up from the railing she was leaning on. "Well, you've collected more of the potential squad members by now than I would have expected."

Rue huffed mentally.

"I have to admit...I didn't think you would..."

"Be able to pull it off? I haven't yet."

"Maybe not, but you've come a long way."

"You make me sound like some...invincible hero. I'm not."

"That might be true, but that's how most of the galaxy sees you."

"Want to know a secret? It's all about the outfits. Bedazzle them with your armour and they'll forget the rest." Rue winked, spinning around as she spoke, her arms stretched wide. Miranda chortled shaking her head.

"I'll take whatever I just said back."

"Hey! Is that how quick you cast me aside?"

"I've known people to last for even shorter than that," Miranda said flatly, her blue eyes twinkling and Rue found herself wondering what that twinkle that flashed by in Miranda's eyes meant.

"I suppose this long would earn me an achievement then." Rue grinned before leaning in close towards the informant, whispering in her ear. "And by the way, that swallow you have tattooed is very nice." She let herself linger before moving away, firing off an unarming smile. By the look of the surprised informant she had managed to get under her skin and she laughed inwardly. Miranda really was easy to annoy and childish as it may be, she found she enjoyed it greatly and she gave the annoyed informant a playful nudge before her eyes fell on the Normandy engineers.

"Got everything you need?"

"Yes Commander, also, Yeoman Chambers had me fetch this for you," Gabrielle Daniels said placing a small package in her hand.

Rue laughed at the small spaceship model in her hand. Last night she had promised Kelly that the next time she had a spaceship model to build they'd do it together. Very daring of the yeoman she mused appreciatively.

"Ok, let's get back to the Normandy. We have a lot of work to do. Good job finding these upgrades."

~•~

Miranda paced back and forth in her room glancing at the screen every now and then.

"Damn it Niket, why aren't you answering?" Her father had found Oriana, the message from her informant had been clear. She had read the mail subject over and over last night, her stomach churning in terror. If her father knew where Oriana was it meant he was coming for her, and that meant her sister would be held captive, trained like an animal, experimented on. She remembered her childhood, the painful surgeries, the constant pressure and the isolation. She couldn't let her sister endure something like that. She let her fingertips tap nervously on her arm. She needed to think of something, and fast. Knowing her father she didn't have much time at all.

Stopping in front of her desk she growled in frustration. Why wasn't anybody answering? Neither Lanteia nor Niket had answered any of her messages and she was running out of time. She would have to go after Oriana herself even if it did mean exposing herself to her father, her creator. She sighed heavily before grabbing a handful of old dossiers she wouldn't be needing anymore before heading down the hangar. Instead of pacing around her room she might as well dispose of these dossiers.

The opulent hangar area was empty of crew members, the Normandy's familiar buzzing Miranda's only companion where she stood. Placing out the dossiers on the floor at the far end of the hangar she smiled to herself. This was her secret guilty pleasure. Retreating to the opposite side of the hangar she aimed for one of the dossiers. Building up the biotic power slowly, feeling it grow into a warm sensation in her stomach until it overflowed erupting from her fingertips. The first dossier was pulled up into the air then a second attack from her biotics shattered it to nothing but glowing embers. Watching the embers fall towards the floor she remembered using her biotics when she was younger and still untrained. Wielding biotics took a lot more control and effort than what most people realized. At first, her biotics had erupted not only from her hands, but all of her had been glowing with the blue biotics. Learning to focus her powers, aiming for and hitting her targets had been difficult even for her and when her master told her she would have to learn how to pull at more than one object at the time she thought surely he must have lost his mind. No one could do that! It was near impossible.

Watching the dossiers from where she stood she levitated and pulled two of them before her other hand thrust them hard against the floor. They crashed and exploded, the dull sound of the explosion bouncing between the hangar's metallic walls. She smiled approvingly of herself. This was much better than deleting the files manually.  _Imagine if deleting feelings were as easy._  She thought, grimacing at herself. She tried to avoid the charming commander and she tried her outmost to keep their conversations short and concise only sticking to the mission. She shook her head. She was terrible at this. She set rules, didn't play by them and Rue always managed to get under her skin. It was so infuriating! She sighed. She knew almost anything, how to shoot Geth, the quickest way to kill someone, the Hanoi theory, how to speak at least three different languages, and still… she knew  _nothing_ of how to handle a situation like this.  _What would be the harm? Oh, I don't know, risking the whole mission? Fine, but how would something like that risk it? By making me…her unfocused! Making us lose sight of the mission. Seriously, you would do that? No. but it_ could  _happen._

"Great, now I'm talking to myself…" She muttered glaring at the dossiers. She repeated her first attack overloading the dossier in the air and it too shattered like a marvelous firework display.

"Not bad."

Startled she spun on her heels to find the commander leaning against one of the large fans, arms folded across her chest, that charismatic, lopsided smile on her face.

"Shepard. I didn't hear you come."

"Ah well, the prowess in me." She joked before looking serious. "Actually I came here because Kelly told me I should talk to you, and EDI, well she's just a big snitch so she told me where to find you."

Miranda frowned. "Why did Chambers tell you to find me?"

"Well she happens to be very good at her job assessing the crew members'...mental well-being and informed me you've been distracted and a little edgy lately and suggested I talk to you," Shepard said bluntly.

"Edgy? She said I was  _edgy_?"

"She might not have used that exact term. So you do want to tell me?" Rue said in that characteristical way she talked in.

"There's nothing to tell Shepard." Miranda felt her temper rise. What gave the yeoman right to tell Shepard something like that, just because they were...whatever they were doing, didn't mean she could run off to Rue and tell her everything.

"Look, it's strictly work-related, I just want to make sure everything's alright."

"Shepard I'm fine. I would be even better if you stopped questioning my ability to do my work!" Miranda snapped angrily. How dare she question her! As if she didn't have enough problems now that her father had found her sister.  _Not that Shepard knows this..._

"Ok, listen to me now. I usually don't say this, but with you...it seems to be the only thing working. I'm your commander. I need my squad to be on top. If you got any personal matters you need to deal with, then do so, just make sure you're focused on the mission when I need you to be. We can't afford to make any mistakes. Not on a mission like this one," the commander said sternly.

Much to Miranda's dismay, Rue's words seemed to hit home. She hated how she did that and she hated that fact that the mentioning of the yeoman's name coupled with the stress of keeping Oriana form her father had caused her to overreact somewhat to the commander's question.

"I'll keep that in mind Shepard," Miranda said as something mischievous flashed in the commander's eyes.

"It really bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What does?" Miranda asked feeling the commander place a daring hand on her hip as she slipped past her towards the elevator. The soft touch sent a tingle through her body and she resisted the urge to twist sideways along with the Rue's movement.

"That I know how to handle you." Rue murmured giving her a sly look, her hand slipping off her hip.

~•~

The screen went from black to a subtle blue tint as the Galaxy Net logo appeared on it and the perfectly round globe spun on the screen until it connected.

The man wore the typical white laboratory coat one would expect from a doctor, and as he came into view he pushed his glasses back up from the tip of his nose. "Mr. Hannoway?" He seemed surprised.

Larkin turned around leaning on to his knuckles. "Dr. Grenway, it's time to reverse the condition. Project 821 proceeds."

Dr. Grenway put down his pen looking surprised. "So soon? I recently sent the mail to the subject, how will I explain this?"

"You won't have to explain anything. She will not be open for communication so to speak. Anyway, I have found the perfect DNA. The project continues on Monday." And with that Larkin broke the connection. Things were going according to plan. They always did. Even when his creation thought she was escaping. He snorted. Miranda had been foolish to think she could ever escape him. He needed her to think that it was just another step in his plan, and she was following it so well and on Monday he would begin his new project, the flawless human.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	9. Self Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so this fic was originally posted on FF.net AGES ago. I think I started it in 2009-10, before the third game was out. Therefore, Henry Lawson is not named that in my fic. In this fic Lawson is a fake name Miranda took on to keep her identity from her father. It does always strike me as odd that she would keep his last name. Anyway, Henry Harper was a HUGE disappointment in the game. I thought so much more of him. So I decided to keep him powerful, authoritarian, and sinister in my fic thus you have Larkin Hannoway. So much more evil sounding.

_Sometimes it felt as if Rue knew the battle raging on inside of me. I was well aware of the rules. Our missions before our feelings, but my feelings were so strong. Too strong. It was the way she looked at me without saying anything, yet her green eyes spoke more words than had ever been spoken to me. To this day I will always regret not asking her how she did that, not telling her that the first time she did it was the moment I fell in love with her._

*******

LUST. MIRANDA LAWSON HAD FELT lust many times in her life, but the passion she felt rushing through her body where she lay on her back was unlike anything she had experienced before. Her body was on fire, Rue's lips locked with hers in a heated kiss, her arms pinned down above her head by the commander's strong but gentle hands. Breathing heavily, arching her body into Rue Miranda felt her need grow stronger as Rue let her hand slip between her thighs spreading them apart, granting her access. Her mind reeled as she felt herself being stroked into near madness and then Rue's fingers moved further down towards her heated core, slowly, slowly...

Miranda's eyes flew open as she awoke from her dream, her body sweating, her heart beating insanely fast.  _Oh my god..._ She tried breathing normal as she sat up and leaned her forehead into her hands.

"Oh. My. God!" She exclaimed, half smiling at her dream before she threw off her covers silently slipping out of bed her legs feeling slightly shaky.

"I need some damn chocolate." She muttered as she pulled on a pair of loose fitting cotton trousers. She frowned as she pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail. If she was having dreams, and oh what pleasant dreams, about hot steaming fornication then she was in desperate need of some chocolate.

"You're making me fat, getting me addicted to sugar and you don't even know about it." She chided the commander as she turned the corner from her office walking into the kitchen.

"Of course." She said loudly as Rue popped her head up from behind the refrigerator's door.

"Well, well Lawson, what brings you out at this hour?" Rue said standing up, holding the milk cart in her hand.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Her heart was racing fast, the dream still burning in her mind. Could Rue tell?

"Actually...there's a lot of things I would like to...know." The commander said edging closer to her.

"Know or do?" Miranda challenged Rue who quirked her eyebrow smiling seductively putting the milk cart aside.

"You want me." Shepard said smiling in realization and surprise.

"What? No! That is completely inappropriate!" She spluttered.

"Not if it's true." The commander stated matter-of-factly.

"Well it's not." Miranda denied apprehensively.

"Then prove it. Kiss me."

"No! You're crazy!"

"Kiss me."

"I'm not going to..." Was all she had time to say before Shepard had grabbed her hips pulling her closer, her lips caressing Miranda's in a soft kiss. Shepard won, and Miranda let the commander deepen the kiss as she wrapped her arms around Rue's neck. Rue pushed her up against the kitchen sink her hands trailing Miranda's body on top of the thin fabric. She moaned quietly as Rue's hand slipped in underneath her top closing around her breast.

"Tell me you don't want me." Rue muttered as she lowered her mouth to where her hand was.

"I do." Miranda sighed in defeat anticipating what would come next.

Her eyes fluttered awake once again, leaving her breathless from her dream.

"AAARGH!" She threw her pillow across the room in frustration and it hit the computer screen which toppled over and fell to the floor with a loud crash. What was with her dreams lately? She groaned displeased rolling over hiding under her cover before remembering sleeping was what had gotten her this...annoyed to begin with.

It seemed that the more she tried to deny all these unfamiliar feelings she had for Rue, the more persistent they became. This desire she felt burning within her, not only to feel the commander's body next to hers, but to feel her... _love_?

She twisted a long strand of dark hair between her fingers, chewing her lip. Love? Is this...it couldn't be. How could it be, she hardly knew the commander.  _Now that's just an out right lie. You know everything about her._ The small voice in her head whispered. She let her hair fall across her knees as she leant her forehead onto the top of her knees that she had pulled up towards her chest. Yes, she knew everything about Rue, physical facts, but not even through the Asari's memories of the commander had she been able to fathom how charismatic and charming Shepard had been. Not until now, and she found she couldn't resist these feelings she had whenever she was near the commander. The commander's touch from last night still burned on her hip. The rush of desire still rippling through her body. Shaking her head she growled in frustration.

"NO more dreams." She ordered her brain before getting up heading towards the shower. She had work to do, and her screen was now broken so she might as well just get up and sort it all out.

~•~

The Asari paced her office as she watched the latest feed her Intel had sent her from the Cerberus ship Rue was commanding. She balled her hands into two fists. She knew the Normandy was fighting the Collectors, which had made her thought Rue hadn't contacted her because she was busy with saving the galaxy. That was until she watched the monitoring footage of the ship her Intel had slipped to her.

She stared at the frozen screen behind her large desk. Rue was leaning into the Cerberus woman, the informant who had been her contact when she and Feron stole Rue's body from the Shadow broker. Rue had her hand on the raven haired beauty's hip and she wore that look on her face she used to wear before walking up to Liara kissing her, grabbing her behind, giving it a seductive squeeze.  _This_ was not saving the galaxy!  _This was…this was…_  She sighed hiding her face in her hands. This was all her fault, she couldn't blame Rue, but glaring at the Cerberus informant in her low cut jump-suit she wondered if it was she who had told Rue about her deception. That it was she, Liara, who had handed Shepard's body over to this pro-human organisation. Someone must have told Rue. Why else would she not have contacted her.

She closed her eyes, steadying her breath. She thought Rue had meant what she said after nearly getting herself killed during the battle at Citadel. She would have thought that even if their bond had been severed that day when the Normandy got blown up, Rue would have at least been told by Cerberus that Liara was still alive and come for her.

Watching the next clip she felt a slight ache in her chest. It was obvious why Rue had not contacted her. Even from where she stood she could see the sparks flying between the two of them, one could cut with a knife in the intense chemistry between them. It was evident by the way they moved, how they subconsciously moved their bodies in unison, and followed each other with watchful eyes. She frowned. She was of Asari race she was bound to experience the loss of the lover she chose to bond with. She had once told Rue that Asari had learnt to accept this and did not fret about eventually losing their lover, but cherished the many memories they would have from their partner. But she hadn't expected to lose her so soon. Not like this.

Turning her back towards the screen she switched it off tossing the remote on to a nearby armchair as she walked out her office. She needed to think, needed to focus on something else.

Nyxeris had put all her energy into helping her find clues as to whether Feron was still alive and where he could be and had left a dossier on her desk earlier that morning. She should see if the information on it was any useful. As she moved through the crowded streets of Illium, the sun caressing her face gently, she hardened her stare. All these emotions would get her nowhere. Sheer determination and will had helped her retrieve Rue's body, only this would help her find Feron.

She had learned to live without Rue, accepted her death, and the revenge she sought on the Shadow Broker could not be achieved by the young, naïve girl she once was. She straightened herself up, her steps falling more determined on the blank surface of Illium's streets.

~•~

The morning had been tiring if not a little crazy. One of the weapons upgrades had turned out to be faulty weakening the bearers shield instead of enhancing its strength. Jacob had been quick to discover the malfunction which could have cost them their lives if not discovered, but that also meant a slight delay in their already slim schedule to get everything ready for the final mission. The suicide mission, as she liked to refer to it as. Jacob had still avoided her attempts to have a decent conversation by stiffly replying that he wasn't a man of many words. It seemed the former Alliance soldier had become more reserved after Jack's little revelation of Miranda staying in Rue's room. She pondered the possibility that the soldier still held some kind of feelings for the informant. Either way she found the prospect of her explaining what Miranda was doing in her room slightly unnecessary, thinking it might undermine her authority if she seemed too eager to explain herself. She needed the crew's approval, but she needn't seem desperate, that would only gain her pity and nothing else.

On the bridge Joker and EDI had discovered the upgrades they got for the Normandy the other day might not suffice to withstand whatever waited behind the Omega-4 Relay and the rest of the crew darted back and forth between stations working like little ants. Rue had to settle an argument between Jack and Mordin and Garrus was having a slight set back in the Main Battery Room, nothing he couldn't handle, but a setback nonetheless. She smiled a little at the thought of Garrus' awestruck impression the first time he had seen the Normandy. He was right though that day. When the galaxy's different races worked together they really could accomplish great things. Looking around at her crew that awe inspired feeling was missing. It was perhaps time for a meeting with the whole crew boosting their confidence, giving them a little energy to keep working, reminding them what they all could accomplish.

She looked over at the informant who was discussing something with the navigator looking solemn and serious. Looking up from their conversation her eyes locked with Rue's for the briefest of moments before she turned her attention back to her conversation. Miranda had acted strangely earlier and then Rue had asked her why she'd gotten up so early, couldn't she sleep?

"I didn't dream  _anything_." The informant answered shortly.

"Well, you know what they say, we only dream about things we've been experiencing or thinking about during the day. You should think about something before you go to sleep. That should help you dream." Rue had merely suggested,

"Shepard, just…be shush!" She had gesticulated wildly with her arms before storming off leaving a much confused commander to wonder what ever was wrong with this day.

Watching her omni-tool she shook her head. She had to call a meeting and then they would dock on a nearby fuel station before trying to find the Justicar. They had almost caught up with her on the Citadel, but she had slipped right through their fingers. The Justicar had flown from space station to space station and Rue found herself wondering what it was the Justicar was looking for. Evidently it was something important enough to chase half across the galaxy. She frowned. A Justicar. She knew very little of the Justicars. They were of Asari race and highly revered in Asari culture. From what little she had read they served as the righteous hand of the galaxy, righting what wrongs have been done. Apparently that sometimes, if not often meant standing above human or species created laws. Moving across the bridge her eyes caught the yeoman's and she nodded a greeting before moving on. Today was not the day for idle dalliances, there was to much work to be done.

~•~

Miranda gazed out across the wide open space small rocks orbiting through it, space ships whizzing past the fuel station soundlessly, some stopping to dock others merely bothering to slow down as the docking ships pulled up near the station. Niket had finally replied to her e-mail and her contact on Illium had returned her latest call just before Rue had ordered them to join her in the com room for an important meeting, and Cerberus had arranged for Oriana's flight to a new settlement. Embracing her self, she went through the plan in her head once more, staring absentmindedly out through the station's large panorama windows. It would all work out perfectly, and if they were quick enough her father wouldn't know Oriana had been moved before it was too late.

She threw a quick glance across her shoulder. The only thing left to do was to talk to the commander about it. She cringed slightly at the thought. She hadn't wanted to involve anyone else, least of all someone from the crew, and especially not Shepard. When Niket had suggested she ask the captain if they could make a quick stop at Illium she had resisted the idea first thinking she could come up with a good excuse to go there on her own, deal with the issue and then return to the Normandy. It was perhaps her stubbornness, perhaps her pride that resisted the idea of it even though she knew that just the thought of her walking up to Shepard saying she'd have to go away for a day or two was not only silly, but also ridiculously irresponsible. Even if she did come up with a good excuse she was Shepard's second in command and her taking a leave wouldn't look good. However telling Rue also meant revealing something of herself. How she fled from her father, why she had fled and why she had brought Oriana with her. One thing would lead to another. Rue would find out everything. It was even more daunting to tell Rue than having her read her journal.

She mulled over the possibility that she could just tell Shepard what she needed to know in order to help her settle this issue, but knowing the charismatic commander that would probably not be enough. Rue had this way of making people around her trust her with their problems and even their lives. Miranda sighed. She would have to include Rue whether she liked the idea or not.

~•~

Her office was the fancy one in the crew quarters, the one that had a spectacular view of the vast space. Being the Illusive Man's favourite must have its perks he thought to himself where he walked down the narrow corridors towards the elevator. Then again, sleeping with the Illusive Man was bound to get you special perks. He snorted. He had worked for the Illusive Man five more years than the director had. There could only be one reason as to why the Illusive Man had named her the director of the Lazarus Project. Miranda. He shook his head, twirling the plastic card between his fingers as he moved swiftly towards his destination. She wasn't all that, she wasn't even talented. She was made that way. Nothing about her was real. Anyone as cold as her couldn't possibly be, even Wilson had said the before the attack back on the station had killed him.

Stepping out from the elevator he glanced to his sides making sure no one could see him where he walked. It was late, and he didn't have much time to enter the director's office before she and their commander would return. Commander Shepard. Now that was a woman one should respect. He was in awe of her. She had saved humanity from that crazy alien Saren and his Reaper army. He wouldn't ever dare to question Commander Shepard to her face, but keeping aliens onboard? The turian and that mongrel Grunt unnerved him and he couldn't understand why the commander possibly couldn't do without those aliens. He knew Wilson would have felt the same way, but looking around him nowadays he only saw fools who didn't mind working along side the aliens. The Illusive Man's orders were clear though.  _Get the director's DNA_. He frowned. It was an odd request. What could the Illusive Man want with that woman's DNA?

He pulled to a stop in front of her doors. Whatever the reason he didn't mind helping the Illusive Man in this matter. He placed the plastic card against the little metallic box next to the doors that slid open. Stepping into the office he let his eyes sweep across the room falling to rest on the bathroom door. He moved quickly across the room slipping in to the bathroom. It was big, much bigger than the one he and the others had to share and he found himself disliking the director even more. This office could have been his.  _Should_ have been his.

Walking up to the basin he grabbed the comb lying on top of it. He sneered. Miranda would hate the fact that the Illusive Man had asked for her DNA, and actually had someone sneak in behind her back and get it. This made him more than sure of that the director knew nothing of this and whatever it was she wouldn't like it one bit. He laughed to himself. And that was just why he liked it, and he wished dearly that the Illusive Man would use it for something good.

~•~

Miranda stood by the waiting area as always keeping her distance from the rest of the squad.

"What do you make of her?" Garrus asked as he studied the informant with scepticism.

Rue looked up from her omni-tool studying the informant. These past few days something had changed. She seemed nervous. Something was up, something had unsettled Miranda. Rue squinted. But besides that, Miranda's behaviour had changed around her. She no longer walked away or gave Rue that cold stare when she tried venturing outside the rules Miranda had set up the week before. Sometimes she even seemed at ease with Rue. She grinned. Miranda was playing along with her innocent attempts to flirt with her, and at times it puzzled the commander. It enticed her.

"I think she's very focused on her job. I guess."

Garrus chortled causing Rue to snort. "What?"

"Joker's right." He said shaking his head with a grin on his face.

"Joker's right about  _what_?" Rue folded her arms across her chest glaring at the turian.

"Where are your weapons?" He narrowed his eyes at the absence of the captain's weapons.

"I figured I wouldn't need them right now. Why?"

"I just want to be sure I won't be getting a bullet in my head." He grinned at her,

"And  _why_  would you do that?" She asked.

"Because Skipper." He secured his gun at his waist. "Do you remember when you and Liara had that thing going last time we risked our lives to save the galaxy?"

Rue quirked her eyebrow folding her arms across her chest leaning backwards slightly as she studied the turian. "What about it?"

Garrus raised his head scrutinizing the informant with his meticulous eyes. "Can't say I trust her, but it's your call Skipper. You've always made reasonable decisions before."

"My call to  _what_  exactly?"

He grinned widely. "I think you already know what I'm talking about." And with that he turned his back on her walking away motioning for the fuel's station personnel to speed things up.

Rue followed him with her eyes. Letting his words sink in as they returned to the informant where she stood. She did like Miranda. The informant made her bang her head on her desk in frustration sometimes, one minute she was the cold, stoned-faced ice queen, the next she was like one of the colonist girls they had met on Feros. Rue hated how she was all business-like and determined even when discussing what was on the lunch menu, and at the same time that made her smile. So focused and concentrated, a tiny wrinkle forming between her eyebrows. And when the informant was in a good mood she would banter sweetly with Rue until she remembered the rules she had set, then she returned to ignoring her, but Rue could still sometimes feel her gaze burn at her from afar. It was infuriating how Miranda sometimes still saw Rue as her subject she was to study, but then Rue could see the concern grow behind those blue eyes the closer they got to flying off into the Omega-4 Relay. Miranda made her feel things she hadn't felt in a while. Looking at the informant she scratched her neck. Regardless of how Miranda made her feel, this wasn't quite the right time for something like this. Besides…Miranda was just playing with her. All this small banter and sweet flirting didn't actually mean anything. Or did it? Sometimes she wasn't quite sure what the answer to that question was. She shrugged where she stood turning to leave for the rest of the squad when she saw the informant turn around and walk towards her.  _Oh boy…now what?_

"Commander." Miranda's voice sounded nervous yet a little softer than usual.

"Yes Lawson?"

"I…I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for a favour…" Miranda squirmed as Rue tilted her head. The informant had been unsettled by something, the biggest hint the fact that she was asking Rue for a favour. Miranda didn't ask for favours for she didn't need them. She either handled it herself or delegated the task to someone competent enough to handle it.

"What is it?" She asked softly.

"I wouldn't ask you if I really didn't have to…but I need your help with moving my sister." The informant said her arms crossed defensively across her chest. Rue suspected the arms also worked as a support, making Miranda feel less vulnerable.

"Sister? I didn't know you had a sister. Why does she have to be moved?"

Miranda sighed. "Have I told you about my father?"

"Other than he was a bit of an absentee and controlling one, no." Rue said letting her arms fall to her side.

"Well." Miranda walked past her walking them further away from the crew. "Like I told you, he was a rich and influential man who created me."

Rue walked up behind her stopping an arm's length away. "He created you?"

"My father used a modified copy of his own genome. With it he…engineered me genetically."

"So…" Rue said slowly refusing to admit she understood less than half of what the informant had just said.

"He created me to be a perfect specimen of a human being. He bought me the best genes, best education…that is why I can do all of this." She said her hand suddenly glowing with her biotics.

"I would have said that that can't have been too bad, but I know from what you've told me that…you didn't really see eye to eye with your father."

"I thought I was the only one." She said quietly. "But…I wasn't…I wasn't even the first. There had been others before me."

"That's why you left?"

"I knew what he was going to do to me…he created my sister, Oriana, when he created me. I had to leave, and I couldn't leave her behind." The informant lowered her head. "Cerberus has helped me stay off his radar. He stopped searching for me a long time ago, but Oriana…he's never stopped looking for her and…" She fell silent before her voice grew angry. "He has found her, and I need to stop him. Cerberus has arranged for her to be moved, but I don't trust that everything will go smoothly…I want to be there myself to make sure everything goes as planned."

"Ok. When do we leave?" Rue said in a determined voice.

Turning towards her Miranda's eyes searched hers. "Thank you Shepard."

Rue found herself smiling, placing her hand on Miranda's shoulder resisting the urge to pull her into an embrace. "It'll be fine. We'll get her out."

~•~

Turning the corner without paying attention Liara found herself crashing into the tall man standing in front of her. He wore a grey handsome suit, the sun bouncing off the cufflinks graciously.

"I'm so sorry." She apologised to him.

"Oh, please Miss." He laughed unarming pulling his hand through his way hair.

"I wasn't paying attention I should have…" She laughed straightening her clothes.

"I was practically stepping right in to your path. It was my fault." He smiled before holding out his hand. "I'm Larkin."

She stared at it before gently grabbing it in a greeting. "Dr Liara T'Soni."

"Dr T'Soni?" He said looking a little shocked.

"Yes, have we…met?" She asked feeling an uneasy feeling creep up on her.

"No, but I  _have_ been looking for you." He said.

It was the last thing she remembered before someone shot her with the tranquilizer and her vision became blurry before she fell into the bottomless darkness.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	10. Fresh Feeling

_I was a confident woman when we met. I could hold my ground against a room full of Geth, Husks or Krogans, anything thrown my way. My biotics were nothing but lethal, I could protect myself with it, protect the ones I cared for with it, but now…it seems all my biotics have left me, every single trace of it vanished from my body. Rue doesn't know. Not about the biotics, nor about my…condition. It's best if she doesn't. She needs to focus on the Reapers. Not worrying about us and I…I need to regain my powers again._

~.~

"IS THAT THE ASARI?" Dr. Grenway asked as his eyes fell on the sedated Asari lying in the examination chair. Her face looked serene, the characteristical saphire skin tone and Asari features relaxed, eyes fluttering behind closed eyelids. From prior experience he was happy the Asari was sedated as he circled the chair, one arm resting across his chest his elbow using it for support as he let his thumb rub his bottom lip thoughtfully. The Asari race was said to dream, much like himself and the rest of his kind. Dr. Grenway found it fascinating that an entirely different race could be so similar to humans and yet they were so different from one another. The Asari was a mono-gendered race, or as common people liked to refer to them as, an all-female race. It could be compared to the ancient amazon tribes to a certain extent, he mused quietly to himself.

He studied the sleeping alien. A mono-gendered race who could self-reproduce. It was nothing but amazing, a miracle in human eyes. Scientists had studied the science and possibility of reproducing between two females. Cloning had been discovered, but a biological child created solely from the DNA of two women had been nothing but a vision to humankind. Until now.

"This is the one. Dr. T'Soni, she had a relationship with the commander." Larkin Hannoway explained as he placed the dossier on a table in the spacious laboratory.

Dr. Grenway started at the screen next to the unconscious Asari. Thin cords dropped towards the floor from its lower frame before bending and darting upwards, digging their sharp ends into the soft skin of the Asari specimen.

"It appears that Dr. T'Soni would be a bit young to reproduce with the commander. However…" He leaned closer into the screen knitting his eyebrows together in a frown. "These readings indicate that Dr. T'Soni has experienced quite a few melds with the commander and despite her young age a pregnancy could be precipitated as her body indicates that she was near entering the Matron Stage. It seems the commander's death might have postponed it and it is likely the presence of the commander might trigger this female's desire to move on to the Matron Stage."

Larkin Hannoway walked up to stand beside him. "Yes. My informant told me that Dr. T'Soni and the commander was very close…" A satisfied smile spread across his lips.

Dr. Grenway nodded. The Asari had already mapped out the most desirable traits from the commander's genetic build and from what he saw his assumption that the commander's presence would trigger the pregnancy would be as valid of a conclusion as any. As he stared at the small screen, squares and lines started to appear, forming patterns unreadable to most humans. They would need much more time than this to see how much genetic information the Asari had collected. The rising spirals, increasing amounts of squares and flickering numbers were not much. Yet to him, it was beautiful. It reminded him of watching one's favourite artist draw one of his most accomplished masterpieces.

~•~

Commander Rue Shepard stared at the fish tank rubbing her neck, the soft strumming of a guitar escaping the stylish speakers in the Captain's cabin. She sighed heavily. It had been Liara's favourite song. It used to make her smile, but now it only filled her with a sense of emptiness and loneliness. Sometimes she wondered if things would have been different if she hadn't been slung out in the explosion and gotten herself spaced as Joker liked to say.  _Of course it would have been different._

She shook her head. She was the commander, a captain, she of all should know things change, people change, they experience new things and grow, become someone else. The same thing had happened to her and Liara and the most logical thing was just to accept it and move on.  _Move on_. It wasn't as if she didn't have options. There was the yeoman, of course, she was more than sweet and Rue knew Kelly would not say no to one or two indecent proposals, but there was also the alluring informant. The informant's face appeared fleetingly before her eyes and she smirked, snorting a little at the thought of Miranda and their playful banter. Crossing her arms she turned her head to the side watching the empty bed remembering the feel of the informant sleeping next to her that day a few weeks ago.

"Skip forward." She commanded the music player. It swapped a track and Rue found herself smiling slightly as she remembered Miranda's flirtatious eyes from the other night in the hangar area. As much as she hadn't liked the informant to start with -in fact she had been wary and suspicious towards Miranda- she had to admit that once you learned how to handle her it was difficult not to fall for the raven-haired beauty.

"Commander." EDI's voice alerted her drawing her away from where she stood moping.

"EDI." She greeted the AI as she rounded her chair.

"The Director would like to speak to you," EDI informed her, the blue orb flickering as the artificial intelligence spoke.

"Tell her I will be with her shortly." Rue let her captain's uniform fall to the floor as she walked over to her weapons locker pulling out her armour. Eyeing it she wondered if there would ever be a time when she wouldn't have to pull out her armour and put it on to do the dirty work of others. The armour's sleek black surface reflected the fish tanks clear blue water like tiny little sunrays and Rue marvelled at the spotless exterior. If it wasn't the council she risked her life for it was Cerberus. If it hadn't been Cerberus it would have been someone else. To her, it didn't matter as long as she could stop the Reapers. She wouldn't stop until she had defeated them. She knew it was her choice. She knew that she had made it that day when Saren and his minions had fallen, although it didn't mean she never got tired of always having to be the one to do all the work and still when everything was said and done she was the one to be questioned by others.

Today, however, her mission was different. This time she knew why she did it. She lifted her chin slightly as she stared at her own reflection her eyes growing more determined, more focused as she slipped into the heavy armour securing her shotguns to her side, strapping the rifle and grenade launcher to her back. Giving her one last nod she turned to leave her room to find the director.

Miranda stood with her back turned towards the wide entrance to her office when Rue entered it, but unlike the other times, the informant did not turn around to face her at the sound of Rue's heavy boots clanging against the cold floor. Rue waited until the doors had closed before speaking.

"Miranda?"

The informant remained silent her back still turned towards Rue as she shuffled a pile of dossiers on her desk. She moved closer to the informant reaching out for her shoulder. She could feel Miranda tense slightly underneath her touch before she turned her around staring intently at her. Looking into her blue eyes Rue saw something mirroring itself in them. Fear.

It was surprising to see Miranda like this. The arrogance was like evaporated, the proud head held with less pride, the cold eyes now seeking comfort. Surprising, but not implausible, Rue knew that if it had been her sister she would have been just as worried.

_"We can't get out that way Rue!" Her sister hissed through the corner of her mouth._

_"I_ know _Ina." Looking up towards the ducts Rue pointed with her finger towards it._

 _Ina nodded strapping the shotgun to her thigh as Rue climbed onto the desk, her small hands reaching for the air vent, the only thing standing between them and certain death. Grabbing hold of the duct's frame she swung up and slithered into it turning around to help her sister up. Loud footsteps thudded behind her sister's back as she screamed for Ina to hurry up._ Grab my hand!  _Her blood froze to ice when she heard the door shatter from under the force of a Batarian's boot._

 _Time seized to exist as her sister stared up to her whispering_ 'I love you' _then swinging back around unloading her clips into the first Batarian. The first one fell like a stone, the second one as well, but they kept coming, pouring in like the rushing water of a water mill. The first bullet hit her sister in the chest with an ear-shattering bang and Ina stumbled backwards._

_Rue dropped from the duct landing ungraciously on the floor with a loud crash. Rolling over pushing to her feet aiming her guns, she emptied them into the last standing Batarians her eyes filling with tears, her voice screaming until her throat got coarse._

Rue snapped back to reality. Her hand was still gripping the informant's shoulder gently and she pulled her into a hug. She heard Miranda gasp as she tried to pull away before she leaned in, her forehead resting against Rue's shoulder. She shuddered at the feel of Miranda pressed close to her closing her eyes momentarily allowing herself to breathe the informant in before she spoke softly.

"You, Jack and I will go meet your contact once we arrive on Illium. Garrus will be overlooking the drop-off point from a well-hidden position, and Jacob will be acting as Oriana's driver. We will take care of the rest."

"Did you have to pick Jack?"

"The two of you are like cat and mouse. It's unfortunate you don't get along better than you do since the two of you are actually really damn dangerous together." Rue smiled feeling Miranda glare into the armour clad shoulder.

"Everything will be ok." She said quietly before releasing the informant. Miranda gave her a determined nod before her eyes grew cold and focused again.

"Right. Enough of this. Let's get this over with." She said picking up her M-6 Carnifex.

Rue eyed it with a frown. M-6s? They did some decent damage, but Rue would like to see her crew carry more ammo than what the M-6 would allow.

"We should upgrade that one." She said nodding towards the pistol strapped to the informant's hip as she turned to leave the office and head for the CIC.

"I can handle myself just fine with this one." Miranda answered matter-of-factly from where she walked.

"Yourself perhaps, but what about Jack and me?" Rue pointed out. It wasn't so much a rhetorical question as it was a reminder of their previous conversation from when they first met.

Miranda remained silent as the elevator travelled upwards its low buzzing the only sound being made. Rue felt the elevator slow when Miranda's hand grabbed hers giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you, Commander." She said with her honey like accent before stepping out of the elevator.

~•~

Dr. Grenway walked behind Larkin Hannoway towards the cabinet at the far end of the laboratory. Once there the taller man opened it and held out two test tubes towards him.

"Commander Rue Shepard." He lifted the hand holding the test tube containing something that looked like a long piece of skin. "Apparently not everything had been destroyed on the Lazarus station."

Dr. Grenway smiled. This was truly an opportunity he had never had before. He had the Asari lover and her DNA map of the woman who saved humankind and the rest of the galaxy from Saren and the very DNA from this woman. The possibilities were endless. The things he could accomplish reached beyond the normal mind's wildest fantasies and yet…he looked at the second test tube in Larkin's left hand.

"Miranda Lawson." Larkin said his eyes gleaming. Miranda Lawson test subject 13:9:189 one of Dr. Grenway's most successful experiments.

Dr. Banner Grenway had just achieved his PhD in biological science and for the first time in a decade he did no longer have to work for someone else or research someone else's theories. He was sitting in the new expensive leather chair when a young man walked in to his small office. It was a small unpretentious office, but it was  _his_ office. The young man introduced himself as the sole heir to Hannoway Mining Ltd. Mining. Ores and minerals was that one thing humans had underestimated the value and importance of. Larkin's grandfather on the other hand was ahead of his time and knew full well the time would come when the world depended on these materials, and his vision was to own it all by then. The day Larkin walked in to his office Hannoway Mining owned ninety-six percent of the earth's mining territories and was the main exporter of alien minerals. In other words, the Hannoways owned a small empire.

Larkin was as dashing then as he was now, many years later, and he had also been very interested in Banner's prior research of cloning and reproduction. Having heard of a new genetic breakthrough he came to Banner inquiring what it would take to create a child from his own genes mixed with the genes of other highborn and academic persons. Dr Grenway had explained to Larkin that there was simply not enough research to validate something like that. It was a dream he had always had, but one could only research so much with the help of pigs and sheep.

"Then let  _me_ be your sheep." Larkin had said.

Dr Grenway couldn't believe his ears. It was unethical and against all his morals to use a living, breathing human to run tests on, but nonetheless there he was, a voluntary man, all he wanted in return was a child of his own genetically engineered with only the best genes. As much as Banner would have liked to say no, this was an opportunity he could not resist and with Larkin's generous donations female follicles wouldn't be hard to come by.

The first test subject had died as an embryo, the second before it even reached the same stage as the first experiment. Then there was a successful child engineered, grown and born in the laboratory. It had not survived its third month. There were more subjects, more tests. Some of them lived longer, some of them were terminated, and then there was test subject 13:9:189. Miranda. She was perfect. He remembered it as if it was yesterday. Everything had been planned so well. Then the anomaly appeared sixteen years later. Miranda was not as manageable as they had intended for her to be and despite the surgery to fit the new biotic implants and the genetic plan that she had been programmed with, Miranda did not develop as they wished. She started objecting to her strict rules and schooling regime. When she found out about what she was and that a sister from the same egg, but with newer genes had been created there was nothing left to do than to let her run.

Larkin had wanted the perfect creation –Miranda wasn't it anymore, but now…Dr Grenway stared at the second test tube. Larkin was right. This time they were going to create the perfect human.

~•~

Her stomach churned where she stood, her head thumping, her world spinning as she stared at her best friend. She wanted to cry, scream. She trusted him and he betrayed her. Niket had sold her out to her father. She knew he could see the hurt on her face her eyebrows knitted together, lips slightly parted, her head shaking as she raised her Carnifex.

Niket, her oldest and only friend who had helped her escape her crazy, egocentric father. The only one she had ever trusted had gone behind her back had lured her out here to this false drop-off point with the intention to keep her from getting to her sister. She grew cold once again, her hurt turning into rage as Niket took a step backwards.

"If you know about Oriana's location then surely you must have told Miranda's father." Shepard said where she stood, her shot gun aimed at Niket, her eyes resting on him like a hawk would watch its prey.

"I haven't told Mr. Hannoway anything!" Niket said defensively as his eyes blazed with anger. Miranda felt herself cringe at her father's name. Hannoway. It was a long time ago anyone had ever called her by that name. Niket had been her best friend, but he had endangered her sister's safety. What if she hadn't been here to make sure the drop-off went down as planned? What if Shepard hadn't thought of placing Garrus on watch and Jacob as Oriana's driver? Then her father would have gotten to Oriana. He would have captured her, tortured her. She looked in disgust at the man she had once called her friend.

"But still…you and her." She nodded towards the Asari standing behind him. "Is the only thing standing between my sister and her safety. I'm sorry." She lowered her head momentarily before looking up again. "I never wanted it to end this way Niket." Then she fired off her gun. The bullet dug itself into to Niket's skull between the ends of his brows, before he fell lifeless to the floor. The Asari mercenary screamed in surprise and anger before diving in behind the crates for cover.

"Right. Ok. I would have preferred that to go down differently." Shepard muttered through the corner of her mouth as the Asari launched a full on attack, bullets and biotics whizzing through the air towards them.

"I'm starting to like this bitch!" Jack leered at Miranda where they huddled behind the small barrel.

"And all I had to do was kill someone." Miranda growled craning her neck around the barrel trying to spot the fast moving Asari.

"Love the bonding girls, but really…a fast moving, blue, biotic crazy alien trying to kill us." Shepard snarled before darting out from their cover blasting her shotguns at the mercenary as she shouted instructions over the radio to Garrus and Jacob.

Miranda grimaced as she shot a wave against the Asari's cover shattering it to pieces with her biotics, her other hand firmly gripping her pistol blasting the Asari with Incendiary bullets.

"That the best you can do cheerleader?" Jack smirked, her hand sending a shock wave of power towards their enemy. Crates, barrels and fork trucks launched upwards into the air leaving the Asari exposed to Shepard's lethal bullets. They heard the Asari scream angrily as Shepard's bullets crashed into her.

Miranda fired her weapons at the mercenary captain, but the Asari flared her shields their attacks bouncing off her like tiny pebbles. The loud banging of guns being fired, barrels and crates tossed aside and shattered echoed throughout the large stockroom. The Asari fired off her biotics at Shepard. It hit the commander square in the chest sending her crashing into the wall behind them. Her armour clanked loudly as she fell to the floor with a loud grunt before getting up on her feet. She barely had time to dodge the next attack. Ducking in behind the two biotics she hissed angrily.

"Distract her!"

They nodded as they both took off in different directions charging towards the Asari. Their hands burning with biotic power as Shepard loaded her sniper rifle aiming at the fast moving enemy. Miranda saw Jack get tossed aside as one of the Asari's attacks hit her. The convict was regaining her balance when a bullet tore through the air ripping a deep gash on her carefully inked skin. Jack screamed in agony falling to the ground. Shooting out with her arms, Miranda pulled at the Asari flinging her high up in the air.

"NOW!" She shouted at Shepard. The commander had to take the shot or this fight would delay them in getting to Oriana. There was a sophisticated low bang as one of Rue's bullets ripped through the air. It was a clean shot and the Asari mercenary crashed onto the floor.

Shepard moved over to Jack kneeling next to her. "You ok?"

"Is she dead?" Jack grunted.

The commander looked over at the Asari's corpse her eyes locking with Miranda's blue eyes shortly before returning her attention to the convict.

"Yes she's been terminated."

"Then I'm fucking brilliant. Bitch ripped my tattoos!"

The commander chuckled before helping the convict up. They both turned to look at her, and Miranda felt herself grow nervous. She had shown both of them too much of her emotions. She had let her father get the best of her once again. She had killed someone because of him and they all knew it. She stared back at them, her eyes icy cold when Garrus' voice rang in their ear pieces.

"Commander."

"Garrus?"

"The target has been brought to safety. Jacob is with her and I've still got a good overlook of their position." The Turian reported to them.

"Good." Shepard looked at her waiting for her approval. Miranda nodded, her jaws clenched, the heat of the battle still keeping her on her toes.

"We'll be right over." Rue instructed her eyes still studying her.

Miranda looked away trying to hide her emotions. Jack was there and she would catch on to anything going on between Miranda and the commander. She would latch on to it like a leech and Miranda found that even though she wouldn't mind Rue pulling her into her strong arms again she couldn't let that happen. Not here. Not when she didn't even know what this thing that evidently was going on between them was. She swallowed brushing the dirt off her jumpsuit. She was going to make sure her sister was safe – everything else had to wait until later. Whenever that was.

~•~

The proud informant stood staring out through one of her office's windows smiling as she remembered the look upon her sister's face as she had approached her and her family. Oriana. She had been no more than a baby when she rescued her from their father, their creator. Today she was an intelligent teenager with a quick mind and witty tongue.

Miranda had felt proud when she talked to Oriana, had felt that same feeling she had all those years ago when she held her baby sister in her arms, protecting her from harm as they fled through a big and scary city, looking for shelter and protection from their father. It had overwhelmed her, taken her by surprise and even though Rue had been standing near her when she saw her sister again for the first time since she left her she couldn't stop the warm tears that silently rolled down her otherwise so cold cheeks. Not even Jack's huffing could make them stop falling. Her chest suddenly warm, feeling as if she would explode with pride and love.

Oriana was much like her, talking to her was in many ways like talking to herself, yet Oriana talked with much more ease and with more passion. Miranda let her fingers tap her arm. Oriana had friends, had a family who loved her. She had something Miranda never had and it had taught her things Miranda had never had the chance to learn. Oriana had humour and she spoke so freely. She seemed so easy to get to know. Miranda smiled, closing her eyes. She had saved her and Oriana would never become like her –cold and distant– a social misfit. She heard the doors open behind her and she felt the faint scent of the commander's perfume. Turning around to face the commander she let her arms drop to the side.

Rue was wearing the black commander's suit smiling her charming smile as she pulled to a stop by her desk.

"Lawson. You got a minute?" She asked casually, her hands behind her back as she weighed on her heels.

Miranda smiled as she walked over to the leather sofa sitting down in it. "Shepard. I didn't expect you to come by so soon." She said motioning for the commander to take a seat opposite her.

Rue sat down eyeing her curiously. "I wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing well and…" She averted her eyes away from the commander. "You helped me save my sister, thank you Rue."

"Hey…" The commander leant forward her soft fingers lifting Miranda's chin so that their eyes met. "I'm just glad I could help. No need to thank me." She smiled.

Miranda swallowed nervously before standing up moving off to the window. "I mean it Shepard. I couldn't have done it without you."

The commander leaned back into the comfortable couch crossing her arms.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're not telling me everything?" Rue asked her from where she sat.

She let out a low chuckle as she folded her arms across her chest embracing herself. "I know what you all think of me and I admit...you were right to judge me. Wilson was right." She fell silent.

"Wilson programmed me to have a mental lockdown to kill me off. I wouldn't listen so much to him if I was you." Rue muttered.

"He was right to say I was jealous of you. I told you, I thought people put too much faith in you. I saw you like some bloody hero given an exaggerated amount of trust." Pausing momentarily she turned around to face the commander. "I've been wrong about you..."

"We've all made that mistake Lawson." Shepard got up from the couch shrugging her shoulders.

"Not you. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Everything they think you are is real. Everything you've done, you've accomplished by your own skills. Unlike me."

"What do you mean?" The commander's hazel eyes looked at her as she scowled slightly.

"Everything you see, everything I am, my powers, my appearance, everything about me has been bought and genetically engineered. Nothing about me is real. Nothing but perhaps the mistakes I've made, but sometimes…" She fell silent a wistful smile growing on her face.

"You know…you keep saying everything about you is just the result of good, if not perfect genes put into a nice pot shaken and stirred, but that's not completely true. Genes don't decide  _who_ you become Miranda. That's all you."

She felt slightly bitter. "Even you look at me the way I was built to be looked upon."

"Ouch." Shepard clutched at her chest feigning mock hurt before she smiled a crooked smile. "Don't act coy with me Lawson."

"Coy?" Miranda couldn't help but smile. What did Rue mean with that? She studied the commander as she drew nearer until she stood only inches away.

"Coy, Lawson. Don't pretend you don't like the fact that I'm looking at you." Rue murmured.

Suddenly painfully aware of the lack of space between them Miranda felt her heart race, pounding loudly in her head. Rue was taller than her, not much, but just enough so that the informant would have to tiptoe slightly to get her lips leveled with Rue's.

"I didn't say that I didn't like it…" She said her throat feeling as dry as sandpaper and she felt her heart slow and become one with her slow breathing as Rue's hand suddenly placed itself at the sensual curve of her back.

The commander's strong hand pulled her closer to her. It was a gentle motion like the early spring breeze caressing the sprouting leaves. She let herself be pulled towards the enigmatic commander. Standing close to Rue nothing but the thin layers of their clothes keeping them apart Miranda felt a warm, slightly familiar feeling in her chest and she blinked in confusion as it dawned on her, what the feelings were, what the thing going on between her and Rue was. Her confidence suddenly faded and she let her hand slip up between them as she took a step backwards.

"Look…Shepard…" She tried to control her reeling mind as the fraying remnants of their intense connection lingered in the dim lit office. "This isn't…I'm not…"

Shepard tilted her head an amused look upon her face.

Miranda cleared her throat feeling her cheeks burn as she fidgeted and started to pace nervously. "It's just that I'm not…I don't know what this is."

Quirking her eyebrow Rue smiled her crooked smile. "Oh? I thought it was pretty obvious."

"I mean, I don't know what I'm…Rue…I can't do this right now…" She fell silent observing the commander's face. Rue was following her nervous pacing with those piercing eyes.

"Ok." She said simply before looking at her watch. "What about later, say around seven?"

Miranda chuckled shaking her head at the commander. "I should…get back to…work. Yes, work."

"You do that Lawson and I'll go check…on…Mordin's work."

"Mordin's work? You hate science."

"I don't. I find it…interesting." The commander lied.

"You're a terrible liar Shepard." Miranda said with a chuckle.

"And so are you Lawson." Rue said with a playful edge to her voice as she left Miranda standing by her desk blushing profusely, her heart beating insanely fast.

~•~

Larkin Hannoway looked up from his mahogany desk where he sat going through the latest dossiers he had on his projects. There was Miranda of course, her sister Oriana and then a few other projects that weren't really worth the amount of credits he had spent on them. They were pure failures.

Miranda, she wasn't perfect, Oriana had been upgraded with quite a few genes, but unfortunately Miranda had snatched her away from him before he could make sure these traits had been fully developed so Miranda was the closest thing to perfect he had. His eyes gleamed as they fell on the magazine spread in front of him.

The tall, red-haired woman stared up at him from the spread, her eyes cold and determined. They didn't stare right at him but to somewhere just behind his shoulder. She carried herself with such stoic pride it made him shudder. Everything about this commander was fascinating. Her battle skills were beyond anything he had seen before and her achievements were nothing but impressive. The thought of the DNA from someone like Commander Shepard and his Miranda combined together and engineered to bring forth the best traits was exhilarating. And the Asari whose genetic map would be used to bring out the strongest, the most vital genes from the Commander was beyond what he could have possibly have hoped for. This time there would be no trial and error, it was all laid out perfectly. Even the plan to get Miranda to expose herself to him by going after Oriana had worked. Everything was falling into place. He felt a rush as he thought of this new creation of his.

A soft knock brought him back to reality and he looked up to see the doctor standing in the doorway.

"Mr Hannoway?"

"Yes?"

"You better see this."

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	11. Gravity

_I wasn't looking for anything when we met. Nothing but somewhere I could hide away. Hide from the weight of my heritage. Hide away from prying eyes. Somewhere to hide from my feelings, from myself, but with Rue it was like how they describe gravity. I fell. Headlessly. Helplessly._

**~.~**

IF IT WAS ONE THING you could say about Larkin Hannoway it would be that the man knew how to manipulate. With his self-confident posture and fashionably arrogant attitude, Larkin Hannoway could sell sand to the Sahara. Larkin spoke with a firm and subtle sense of belief making every subject sound as his expertise and he moved with such gentle reassurance he could bend his opponent to his own will.

Dr. Banner Grenway had seen it before, and as he watched Larkin finalize the last step of this prodigious project, shaking ambassador Goodwill's hand firmly smiling confidently, he realized how dangerous someone like Larkin could be.  _Could be?_ He wasn't only helping Larkin create the perfect human, but also the ultimate weapon. A biotic solider who regenerates faster than the average human, and with a mind and intellect far more developed than most of the population, and with the determination and bravery of the galaxy's most celebrated hero. Add a control chip to that and Larkin would suddenly stand alone in control and in power of deadliest and most dangerous solider their world had ever beheld. Dr. Grenway shuddered slightly. Miranda had been created solely to take over Hannoway Mining, that's why Larkin had pushed her so hard, trained her relentlessly in politics and strategy, made her start a degree in economics and business planning, made her attend all those tedious social gatherings that she hated. This time though Larkin had outdone himself.

Despite the foreboding feeling he had he couldn't help but feel excited about the new project. This project was so fascinating, he could learn and study so much more, but to what prize? Was he really prepared to hand such responsibility, such power to someone like Larkin? Larkin would surely use one of his research facilities to clone project 16:34:969. That would leave Larkin with a military fleet dangerous and skillful enough to invade and size whole empires, not to mention planets that would benefit his mining company. Hannoway Mining wouldn't only own every single share of mining on earth but would set out to gain monopoly of the galaxy's mining resources. Dr. Grenway sighed. Perhaps it would at least lay the man's atrocious plans of Courtesan Earth on hold.

Banner still felt sick to his stomach whenever he thought of the business plan Larkin had presented to him a few years after project 13:9:189 had been successfully created. He wanted to create and sell women to anyone who could pay the right price. Much to Banner's dismay Larkin had been very thorough with his plan, and his investigation had shown that a shamefully large part of the earth's population was more than willing to buy such services, not to mention the galaxy's and the aliens' harsh view of people being born into servitude. Banner shuddered. This was different though. These women would be created for one purpose and that purpose alone.

He glanced over at the tall man. He hated him sometimes, but still, he could not be more thankful for the opportunities he had provided for him. All the research and all the discoveries he had made were all thanks to Larkin Hannoway and therefore every fraction of his success he owned to that man, and as much as he wished he could say no to some of the things Larkin proposed, Dr. Grenway knew that this amazing chance to create this child would never come again. This could open so many new doors, not only for him but for the world as well. His knowledge and work would not only benefit Larkin, but it could also benefit the earth and her population. Dr. Grenway felt his confidence in the project increase with the thought, and he stood a little straighter meeting Larkin's blue eyes as he came walking up towards him waving the dossier he held in his hand triumphantly.

"Time to bring the girls down to earth."

~•~

Earth was as foreign to her as it was to Mordin, although thinking about it Mordin probably knew more about earth than she did. Nonetheless, Rue found herself wondering what things were like on earth where she sat in Illium's high fashioned club Eternity drinking her cold beer. It wasn't that she had never really taken in interest in it before, after all, she worked for the Alliance so she worked partly to preserve it, there just hadn't been time to learn more about it and they had never been stationed on it. She raised the tall glass towards her lips, letting the cold beer linger on her lip before letting the intoxicating beverage wash into her mouth leaving her with a bittersweet taste. Licking her lips she set the glass down staring at the hypnotizing red screens sign behind the bartender's back.

Normandy's engineers and Jacob needed time to assemble new upgrades for their weapons, making sure this time that they were getting the right upgrades. He had managed to lure Mordin out to look for some armour upgrades as the rest of Normandy's crew members, and Garrus worked hard to improve the Normandy's defenses. She could really need Tali's expertise now. She grunted. Where was Tali now anyway? Perhaps she should go pay her a visit? They could need her help after all. Although hadn't Tali said she was preoccupied with something? Of course she was – they all were. Rue chuckled a little to herself before taking another sip of her beer. After these few intense weeks, one drink was the least she deserved. Hell, they all deserved it. Her body still ached intensely, but she had managed to shrug it off, lately though it seemed as if it came more frequently and beer –it seemed– helped. She made a wry face. She should go talk to Chakwas, drinking beer wasn't known to be the best of remedies after all. Not the best, but a damn tasty one.

She rubbed her neck thoughtfully slowly working the tensed muscles with her hand, easing the aching slightly. Samara the Justicar had eluded her once again, but they had found Thane. The assassin puzzled her greatly. Despite his line of work he seemed as compassionate and solemn as the reverent mother Alnessa back on Mindoir had been. Rue had watched him whisper a mournful prayer as he lowered his head where he stood solemnly hovering over Nassana Dantius' still warm corpse. Everything about Thane was strange. His solemn way to move and speak, his beady, black eyes and peculiar Drell voice. Strange, but not false nor unbelievable. Rue liked his calm spirit.  _Another noble savage._  Rue smiled into her glass, hopelessly long, red hair falling in her face. Brushing it behind her ear she chewed her lip her thoughts once again returning to Miranda and their earlier…whatever that had been. Another reason she was sitting in this dark, fashionable club drinking her outrageously expensive beer.

She let the tips of her fingers circle the soft, rounded edge of the glass. The informant seemed so close to her, yet she was out of grasps reach even when their bodies had been pressed closely together. Miranda's desire had shot out like flames from her body, mixing and mingling with Rue's own. It had been so easy to read the informant in that moment, but now she wasn't so sure where she sat. Had she just imagined it? Had she caught the informant in a weak moment? She knew what she wanted herself, but could she be sure that's what Miranda wanted? She stared into her beer watching the small bubbles dart up towards the surface breaking it with an almost inaudible pop. Miranda confused her, and for the first time, she didn't quite know what to expect. This was a different feeling reminding her of the uncertainty before battle and still, that uncertainty seemed easier than what she felt now. With Liara, it had been instant, blinding, but this, this was like the slow rise of a new sun, the anticipation of feeling the warm rays caress your face, the longing for the warmth to wash away the coldness from the night.

The commander heard the determined steps of the informant's black sleek boots click against the shining floor of the eternity before she had time to announce her presence. Turning around on the bar stool she was sitting on she smiled her crooked smile leaning back into the bar.

"Finally taken that R and R, huh? I knew you wouldn't be able to resist it." The informant's eyes twinkled.

"Lawson." She said her pint-sized glass of beer still in her hand. "What could  _possibly_ have brought you to a place like this? I thought fun wasn't your thing." She mocked the informant playfully raising her eyebrow before sighing, setting the glass back onto the bar. "What is it? What did I forget?"

Miranda chuckled as she pulled to a stop next to Rue motioning for the barkeep. She, just like everyone else in the nightclub stared appreciatively at the informant.

"You haven't forgotten anything. I wanted to talk." Miranda said matter-of-factly before raising the thin short glass the barkeep had set down at the bar in front of her. She studied it for a second or so before downing it grimacing as the warm liquor burned on her tongue.

"Talk?" It was Rue's turn to chuckle. "Come now Miranda, we both now no one  _talks_ to me."

The informant frowned. "What do you mean?"

"People don't actually talk to me, or say 'hi, how's your day been' or 'what's your favourite show' or 'how's being dead going for you', they ask me to sort their problems out." Rue said flatly taking a sip of her beer.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's ok. That's what I'm here for, brought back to life to be the everlasting problem solver and rescuer of the galaxy." Rue winked, smiling broadly.

The informant narrowed her eyes at Rue. "Sometimes I don't know if you're joking or not." She declared.

"Ok, let's have it." Rue ignored her remark, leaning forward slightly giving the informant a reassuring look.

"I didn't really want to involve you when it came to personal problems, but that was before I found this." The informant placed a dossier on the bar in front of Rue who took it, flicking and swiping at the screen with her fingers as she eyed it quickly.

"What exactly is this?"

"That is what my father is involved in. The Illusive Man sent me this information earlier today. It is clear that my father has become a danger."

Rue stared at what looked like pictures of blue screens, and different documents of funding. She kept flicking till the picture of a young woman stared back at her, hollow eyes, bruised and cut, her clothing reminding Rue of what the courtesans back on the Citadel wore.

"What the hell is this?"

"Wherever Project Zero came from…"

"Jack." Rue corrected her sternly. The rivalry relationship between the two women did not benefit any of them by calling Jack by her former project name.

"Jack." Miranda repeated reluctantly. "Wherever she came from, this is much worse. My father's company genetically engineers these women to suit the buyer's preferences and they are then sold as…I guess one could call them slaves."

Rue narrowed her eyes. "How can your father get away with such things? I thought slavery was prohibited on earth? Isn't that what we humans always brag about when we want to distinguish ourselves from the aliens?"

"Things aren't so black and white I'm afraid. Slavery is prohibited, but these women are not seen as 'real' humans. The law states clearly that it is by no means allowed to hold humans or aliens as slaves, but these genetically engineered women are neither in the eyes of the law. They are neither humans nor aliens."

"But they are not subjects either." Rue said angrily flicking past dozens of women faces. "'Courtesan Earth provides its services and products throughout all of the intergalactic systems. How noble of him." Rue said in disgust. "This cannot be accepted, these women were created and engineered solely for this reason. They are created for the buyer's need, to do whatever is asked of them no matter what it is."

"As was I."

Rue could feel the anger start to boil within her. It was infuriating to know pricks such as Miranda's father was walking around, untouchable because of ridiculous loopholes in the law. It was as infuriating as having to battle the council. It would have been easier if Miranda's father had tried to snatch Oriana himself, then they could have just put a bullet between his eyes. A well-deserved one. How could she protect people from the Reapers if they committed crimes such as this? Why should she? At this rate, if the Reapers didn't wage war against them, they would self-destroy anyway.

"That's why I ran. That's why you had to help me keep Oriana safe." Miranda's voice brought her back and she found herself staring into the informant's sapphire blue eyes when Miranda's hand suddenly grabbed Rue's. Unlike the other times the informant didn't let go at the soft touch but held onto it as she pulled herself closer to the commander.

Rue searched her eyes finding them gentle and the doubt that had filled them earlier vanished something else replacing it, burning in them as she placed Miranda's hand on her shoulder, slowly, carefully pulling her closer, her hand resting gently on the informant's waist. Not taking her eyes off the informant's she could feel Miranda caress the back of her head, her fingers raking through her long hair. Averting her eyes momentarily she could see Miranda's plump lips, slightly parted, trembling a little. She leaned her head closer lifting her gaze, looking into the informant's eyes before gently brushing her lips against Miranda's. The informant responded, her lips pressing against Rue's, tasting them curiously, passionately. Rue let her lips explore Miranda's as she felt the tip of Miranda's tongue sweep across her bottom lip seductively and the kiss which had been careful, gentle and searching, deepened. Not abruptly or hesitantly, but like the placid waters of a lake that slowly starts to ripple and swirl. Revelling in the feel of Miranda's soft lips and warm tongue Rue pulled her closer, the loud music streaming from the large speakers and the constant buzzing from the other guests suddenly reduced to nothing but a low thudding reverberating through her chest, or was that her racing heart drowning out everything else?

Rue let her hands slide down the informant's back adding some pressure as they reached Miranda's delectable and curved behind, pulling her closer closing whatever distance lay between them causing Miranda to gasp loudly into her mouth, breaking the kiss momentarily. She could feel Miranda's voluptuous chest rise and fall with her breathing, her half-lidded eyes full of desire.

The informant intertwined her fingers in Rue's hair drawing her in for another kiss their lips burning with lust and passion. Miranda drew a low growl from Rue as she nipped at her lip, her silky smooth tongue slipping across it. Rue felt her head spin, her need growing more dominant at the pit of her stomach as she tightened her grip on the informant, nearly squeezing out what little air she managed to breathe in between kisses. Dormant passion seemed to whirl to life within Miranda who gripped Rue's collar with her hand tugging it hard, desperately trying to get closer as her kisses deepened and became more urgent and needing. Rue let her lips caress Miranda's, their tongues tasting, exploring each other with such passion it left them both breathless when Miranda seemed to regain her senses breaking the kiss. Panting from lack of air and arousal, the raven-haired informant stood still, her silky fingertips resting lightly on Rue's lips almost as if doing so would keep her from kissing the commander again. Rue breathed her in, savouring the sweet smell and the warmth of the informant.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Miranda whispered huskily still not moving.

Rue snorted inwardly. There was a lot of things that shouldn't be done. This wasn't one of them.

"I want you." She murmured her hands holding Miranda firmly in her arms.

"We Sh…" Rue silenced her with a kiss, her lips moving towards the soft skin where jawline met ear kissing it gently eliciting a soft sigh from the informant's lips.

"I  _want_ you."

"We can't…" Miranda whispered in a low voice.

Rue loosened her grip off the informant reluctantly placing a kiss on her lips. "Why do you always say we can't when…" Another kiss. "…we're obviously…" And another one. "…already doing it."

"I..!" The informant caught herself before continuing. "I need time Rue. I'm not used to this."

"Ok." She agreed as she slowly let her go. "Whenever you want to…talk. I'll be waiting."

"And no one will know of this."

"No one." Rue watched the informant nod one last time before she slipped out of her arms, heading back towards the Normandy. Turning back to her beer she leaned her head into her hands before grinning widely. Perhaps working with Cerberus wasn't so bad after all.

~•~

Dr. Grenway stood by the sleeping Asari taking notes as he copied the genetic map onto his hard drive. He hadn't expected to have it so soon, but the Asari had been very selective during their melds, it was remarkable that someone showed such efficiency when it came to choosing genes. Not even Larkin had been as confident with the exact genes he wanted for his projects as this Asari had been. Regretfully, he would not be given the opportunity to sit down and ask her how or why she had chosen these genetic traits. Perhaps it was the doctor in her that had the most influence over which genes were seen as the most desirable. Looking up from his pad he studied her. An Asari doctor. He wondered how many great things they could accomplish if they were ever to work together, Asari doctors and human doctors. Maybe then they could discover how self-reproducing could be applied to humans. The thought of it was thrilling and he found himself losing concentration slightly. It was a mind blowing concept to think that a single person who longed for a child would be able to have one without the help of a partner.

Putting down his pen he scratched his stubbly chin. This project that he and Larkin were working on now was a step in the right direction though. Not only did he now have a perfect template for genetic mapping, but he could also use it for his research. He could discover how to genetically map another person's genes, he could help childless people, he could create an army to withstand any alien threat, and maybe he could even learn from this how Asari's excluded the non-desirable genes and in that way find cures to incurable diseases. This was why he had taken an interest in biological studies. This was why he allowed himself to work for someone like Larkin Hannoway.

Picking up the tray that held the sedatives, he caught his own reflection in the Silverite surface. There had been a time when this would have been out of discussion, he would have never set foot in this laboratory knowing he'd work for someone like Larkin. Most of the earth's population probably felt the same way about many things, but with the new opportunities provided by the intergalactic access and a network that stretched between galaxies morals and ethics had changed. The end suddenly justified the means. Mankind had been given too much rein. Regretfully he did not feel remorseful about this. Dr. Grenway knew it had to be done, for the greater good, and if someone like Larkin got a share he did not care.

Turning towards the second screen he felt a rush of excitement. He had discovered that the Asari did not only make a genetic map of her partner, but also one of herself showing the best traits and genes, and by looking at it he could see that Dr. T'Soni's best genes fit perfectly with Commander Shepard's, like a jigsaw puzzle, add that to Miranda's genes and they would have something incredible in their grasp. Using the sharp scalpel he removed a pea-sized bit of flesh and skin from the Asari's neck, placing it in one of the test tubes. If he could insert the Asari's biotic gene it would integrate with Miranda's biotics giving the child extreme biotic powers. Unfortunately, Dr. Grenway had yet to discover how to create a map from a human without the help of an Asari who had melded with it. He studied the test tube in his hand.

He had however discovered the reason as to why project 13:9:189 hadn't developed her traits as well as he had wished for. His research had shown that all of the projects had lacked the proper amount of immune defense genes which did not only impair the projects regenerative abilities, but also the consistency of their abilities. Miranda's abilities had been astounding when she was younger, but as she grew older they had weakened until she was fitted with new implants. Not only had the procedure been costly, but also caused the young girl a severe amount of pain. That was one of the reasons he needed Miranda for this project. He needed her to vessel the project so that the immune defense gene would be properly developed. Without her, this whole project would crash and burn like a poorly built starship.

Switching on his intercom he called for the laboratory staff.

"Can someone come fetch the Dr? I have no further need of her." Walking over to a thick white door he entered the pin before stepping into it closing it carefully behind his back.

The petri dish was held by the F-shaped machine's hand underneath the sharp light from a surgical lamp. He smiled warmly at the seemingly empty petri dish. It may not show, but he knew. Step one of project 16:34:969 had been accomplished.

~•~

Rue Shepard stared at the ring in her hand. "Don't you think it's better if I go alone?"

"Shepard," Miranda said calmly. "How much did it cost to bring you back?"

"Four billion credits...?"

"Indeed. Now tell me, Shepard, how much did the new Normandy cost to build?"

Rue scratched the back of her head looking slightly perplexed. "A…lot?"

"Two-hundred thirty-five billion credits." Now, would I be terribly out of line if I said that you're far too valuable to be lost?" It wasn't a rhetorical question. Rue could tell by the informant's voice.

"Fine. I see your point, but tell me again why we just don't go down there and do what we usually do?"

"Blast our way through trouble?" Miranda quirked her eyebrow.

"It's working quite well…"

"Because we want to hit the operation from within. If we take it out from the inside we will be able to get all the data stored and destroy the facilities connected to Courtesan Earth. It would be a blow to Larkin Hannoway, a blow too big to be fixed."

"Ok Lawson." Rue agreed knowing the informant was right.

"Good. Cerberus has sent us our new identities." She said handing Rue the dossier before turning to walk away.

"New identities? Will that really be necessary?"

The informant didn't answer but simply gave her a look before walking off. "You should be prepared and ready to leave ASAP. Make sure Garrus comes along." She called over her shoulder as she disappeared from view.

Rue heard Joker chuckle behind her. Folding her arms across her chest she glared daggers at him. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

"It's just funny to see you ordered about."

"Yes. Hilarious." Rue muttered. Switching on the dossier she read the headline. Liz and Rebecca Gilchrist, a rich newlywed couple from one of the colonist planets visiting ambassador Goodwill's charity ball. Rue scowled.  _Charity ball my ass._  It was all a façade for the women the rich came to buy during one of the evening's charity auction. She put the dossier down.

"The Gilchrists." She muttered as she put the simple wedding ring on her finger hearing Joker snickering from where he stood opposite her enjoying her awkwardness.

"Stop it or I'll break your legs, brittle boy." Rue snarled.

"Hey, hey, no threatening the little guy. Besides Rue, it's not  _that_ bad."

"I'm a  _soldier_. I've got targets –I shoot them. I'm not an  _actress_."

"Look, Rue, for how long have I known you?"

"Since I joined the Alliance."

"Exactly, I was the little scrawny guy everyone picked on, but who still helped you out when Holly Bank broke your heart." Rue opened her mouth in dismay to say something but was kept silent by Joker's hands waving dismissively at her. "In other words, I know you pretty well and this is just another mission, but instead of flashing your nice gun you have to be a little more subtle. So don't think, just do what you do –without guns."

Rue grunted.

"And while you do it…reap the benefits my friend," Joker said his eyes gleaming.

"What benefits? I feel like an ass in this suit." Rue tugged at the stiff collar of her fake noble suit. It fit her well, showing off all her best curves, but it was too damn tight in her opinion. "Just glad they didn't put me in a dress." She said before turning around ordering one of the CIC crewmen to go fetch Garrus for her.

Joker laughed before choking on something. "Uhm…Commander, you might not do dresses, but she  _definitely_ does."

Turning around she saw Miranda stride towards them. She wore a deep purple dress made of silk, the front and the side embroidered with U-shaped patterns to accentuate her exquisite curves. The dress had been designed with a tasteful cleavage, showing just enough for the imagination and it wrapped itself perfectly around her body ending just above her knees, the long shapely legs made longer by the matching high heels. Her blonde hair had been back-combed into a messy yet stylish hairdo, long, wavy strands of hair escaping from the subtle silver hairpin, falling across her sleek shoulders.

"Reap. The. Benefits," Joker hissed through the corner of his mouth.

Snapping back to reality Rue realized she must have been staring for the raven-haired beauty smiled coyly at her. Clearing her throat Rue regained her posture slightly.

"You're…blonde." She heard Joker groan behind her back.

"I think I would have been recognized otherwise." Miranda smiled at Rue's inability to hide her appreciation.

"But you were only gone for not so long."

Miranda chuckled. "It's a wig, blonde doesn't really suit me."

"Well…you look…"  _Amazing._ "Good," Rue said stiffly trying to hide the desperate desire she felt for the woman standing in front of her.

"As do you, Commander," Miranda said as coldly as ever, but Rue saw the flash of mischief in her eyes before Garrus and Jacob came walking up to them.

"Earpieces," Jacob said staring intently at Rue avoiding to look at the informant. "We'll be nearby and when you send us the coordinates Joker will go in for drop off and we'll meet you there." He instructed them.

Nodding she put the earpiece into her ear before looking at the Turian and the informant. "Ready to go play happy family?"

~•~

The corridor lay dark as he crept through them. Hopefully, no one would wake up and find him creeping around the Normandy like this. He looked behind his back twice before he entered the elevator. The CIC lay quite except the navigator. He didn't pay him any attention where he walked, as per usual. He was too busy to even notice he was there. He could see the flight lieutenant's arms fly about as he maneuvered the Normandy, but besides that, no one was around. He walked up to the yeoman's station quickly inserting the decoder into the yeoman's computer. The screen flickered to life and he opened the yeoman's mail quickly logging into her inbox typing the address he had been given by his mysterious employer.

One day when he opened his mail there had been an unread mail and when he had opened it, it had offered him the most fantastic thing. The one thing he had yearned for –Miranda's position as director. The only thing he had to do was to send an e-mail when the director and commander had left, and whoever sent the mail would make sure he was greatly rewarded. He was no fool though, of course he did not simply believe a mail sent from some anonymous someone. He had done his research and this mysterious Conrad Jester seemed to be closely connected to Hannoway Mining. He had of course asked for something in advance as a proof of faith. Only hours later he had found himself ten-thousand credits richer. How this Conrad had managed to sniff out his details he had no idea, but at this point, he didn't really care. Just knowing he might be sending the director off to a place where she might not come back from was just enough for him.

Grinning widely he typed in his message before hitting the send button with a determined push then he stalked back to his bed smiling to himself. To think that one simple phrase could alter his life and the director's so acutely was thrilling. Just the thought of the look upon Miranda's face as she realized they had been tricked, oh he would have done anything to see it. Taking her place would be a good comfort.

~•~

Larkin Hannoway turned in his leather chair at the sound coming from his laptop. Leaning forward he saw the small mail icon flash.

_The package has been sent._

**TO BE CONTINUED…**

**Author's Note:**

> I know the first post is very short, but to be fair it's only a prologue. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave a review, it's always nice to know if people are reading your work and what they think. Love it? Hate it? Did I miss something? Just make my day. And the list goes on... ;)


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